


So, Just How Fucked Up Are You?

by IWasAlwaysDead



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad spellers of the world untie, Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual L/Yagami Light, Everybody Dies, Except the two lovebirds, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Fucked Up, Gen, Healing, I'm not kidding, Implied Animal Torture, M/M, Multi, Murder Husbands, Not beta read because that would make sense, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Psychological Torture, Rape/Non-con Elements, Underage Prostitution, Underage Sex, Unlike my spelling, Yagami Souichirou's A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:28:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 34
Words: 40,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25152430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWasAlwaysDead/pseuds/IWasAlwaysDead
Summary: I promised AnotherLostSoul that I would write a story with an *actual* happy ending where our two lovebirds don't die and they "walk off into the sunset" as she put it.She didn't make any specifications about the rest of the story, however. So, it's gonna be hella fucked up.Light and L grow up in very different world's but experience extreme childhood abuse in different ways. Light grows up to be a serial killer and when he meets L, he thinks it's love at first sight. L feels the same about him, but when L catches Light murdering someone, will he freak the fuck out and turn Light in? Or will he be kind of into it?I hope you like your gift, ALS! LMAOOOOOOOOOO (Yes, she's aware I'm a gigantic asshole).
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Comments: 334
Kudos: 152





	1. This Little Light of Mine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AnotherLostSoul](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherLostSoul/gifts).



> Hey friends, I'm so sorry I have not been updating. I recently got diagnosed with Inattentive/Mixed type ADHD and the medication has taken some time to get adjusted to. I am doing well and I really like the medication and finally feel like my life makes sense! Hopefully I'll get back on track with regular updating as I settle into the new "me".

Light bowed his head respectfully as his father  came down  on him with harsh correction. Secretly, Light was kicking himself for losing control. He was well aware  of the expectations.  Outbursts were unacceptable.  Holding onto his tears, Light breathed in deep and steadied his trembling bottom lip. Lifting his eyes to his father, he said, “ Yes sir, I understand. It won't happen again.” 

Satisfied that his son understood his disappointment, Souichiro excused Light to his room. On top of being grounded, Light would have additional chores for two weeks. He would have to write his sister Sayu an official apology letter explaining how wrong his behavior toward her was as well as surrendering his entire allowance to her for the two weeks he was grounded. Souichiro was confident the punishment fit his 9 year old son’s crime.

Hidden away in his room,  Light unleashed his fury onto  the  stuffed teddy bear he kept hidden in his closet. He’d learned that stabbing it repeatedly with the sharp knife he also kept hidden in the closet was  a fantastic outlet for his anger. And Light was  _ always  _ angry. Frowning, Light looked down at the demolished bear. Stuffing was everywhere, one eye  hanging  by a thread. The bear looked as miserable on the outside as Light felt on the inside.

Cleaning up the mess he'd made, Light threw away what was left of the bear and hid the knife again. He then made his bed and pulled out his workbook. It was Summer so school was out, but while other kids got to have fun playing outside and swimming in the neighborhood pool, Light had to stay in and work hard. Light attended a fancy private school for gifted kids on scholarship. His parents were very proud, but also worried because they could never afford tuition themselves. They made sure Light stayed ahead of his classmates by assigning him mandatory schoolwork all Summer long. On top of that, he was part of a travel tennis team that promised to yield college scholarships if he stuck with it. 

Tennis was okay. He was good at it and made some friends with the kids on his team. He wasn't allowed to go to their parties or celebrations though. The other kids often had sleepovers and after every successful game went out for pizza. Light had too many responsibilities, his parents would remind him.

As Light sat at his desk solving equations, he wished he wasn’t gifted. Being gifted _sucked._ It didn't feel special. He didn't feel privileged. He felt angry and sad and alone. Strange music playing outside pulled Light from his misery and he went to his window to see what was going on. About half a dozen kids were gathered around an ice cream truck outside, smiling and giggling as they enjoyed their frozen treats. It was just more salt in the wound. Light sighed and closed his window to block out the sounds of happiness below. Returning to his desk, Light found he couldn’t concentrate on his work. 

“Maybe I should take a nap,” he mumbled to himself as he crossed the room to his bed. At least in his dreams he could have fun. He knew if his dad caught him taking a nap he’d be in trouble. Naps were for the lazy and sick and Light was neither of those things. He tried to convince himself it didn’t bother him if he got in trouble, but the fact that he couldn’t sleep said otherwise. “God,” Light quietly prayed. “Please help me. Help me be a good kid. Help me listen better. Help me tame this wild streak inside me so my parents can be proud of me.”

After his prayer, Light laid quietly with his eyes closed. Focusing on doing better and controlling his emotions gave him renewed resolve. Light knew that he would do great things one day. He was brilliant, gifted, and privileged. He didn’t like it right now, but no discipline feels good at the time. Getting out of bed and smoothing the covers, Light decided that it didn’t matter how he felt, he was going to be the perfect son. 

The equations came a little easier now, and he zipped through them with ease, hoping his father would be proud of how well he was doing. By the time he was finished, he felt quite hungry and wondered if he was allowed out of his room to eat or if no food was part of the punishment. Light had learned a long time ago how to hide snacks where his parents would never be able to find them for punishments such as this. Even though it wasn’t discussed whether or not Light could have food, he didn’t want to risk it so he went to his closet to rifle through his secret stash. He had a few small bags of BBQ flavored potato chips. He smiled as he opened his favorite flavor chip and savored each crunchy bite. Sweets were alright, and Light had a few candy bars in his stash, but he was a salty snack lover at heart. His parents rarely allowed junk food, stressing the necessities of a healthy diet, but they did allow some snacks. He always hid away a few of them from each grocery trip. Sachiko never seemed to take notice.

By the time evening rolled around, Light had reorganized his book collection alphabetically,  the clothes hanging in his closet by color, an entire novel and book report on said novel as part of his Summer work , and drew a few pictures that he quickly shredded and threw away.  He wasn’t exactly sure what kind of trouble he’d get into for drawing pictures of people being dismembered, blood pouring out everywhere,  but he certainly didn’t want to find out. 

“ Light!  Sayu ! Dinner!” Sachiko’s voice echoed up the stairwell . Light leapt from the floor where he’d been staring at the ceiling, lost in his  thoughts, and raced downstairs. He felt so glad to know he wouldn't be deprived of dinner as part of his punishment.  Tonight Sachiko made her famous cheeseburger casserole which was easily one of Light's favorite dishes. Maybe the day wasn’t all bad. 

Sachiko smiled at her son as she placed a plate before him. Whenever he had a particularly difficult time with his father reprimanding him, she made sure to cook something Light really liked in hopes that it brought him comfort. She quietly worried about how hard they both could be on their son, but it wasn't her place to go against her husband. He was the head of the household, after all.

Light practically inhaled his dinner, having only eaten potato chips and chocolate all day.  The junk food had made him feel a bit sick, but eating a real meal seemed to make everything right again.  He was quiet and didn't spare more than a glance at his father. The last thing Light wanted was more of his attention.

After dinner, Light washed the dishes, took out the trash,  wiped the counter tops, table and stove, and swept the hardwoods in the kitchen.  After that, Light was pretty tired and ready to go to bed.  It had been a long, hard day despite being confined to his room.

Dreams came to him, but they were strange, stressful dreams where he was running from  a shadowy  figure  with a strong, evil presence but couldn't move his legs fast enough. It felt  like he was trying to push through thigh deep sand, but nothing was actually there.  W hen the figure caught up to him, it changed into a large mouth full of jagged teeth. He woke up every time  it went to swallow him up. 

When the dream first occurred about a year ago, he woke up screaming, breaking out into a cold sweat. The scream woke Souichiro, who in his groggy haze became angry and smacked Light for disturbing his sleep. Souichiro secretly regretted that moment, but he was a proud man and men didn’t apologize to _children_. So, while Light may have continued waking up in cold sweats and terrified, he never did scream again. It was getting better though. Lately he'd wake up, take a breath, and fall back asleep rather quickly. He'd stopped sweating at some point as well.

That night was no different. Neither would the next night or the night after that. Light would wake up each morning to a fresh list of chores. His mother often gave him outdoor chores so he could at least get out of the house and get some sun. Light grinned and bore it like a champ, his plastic smile and respectful silence something his parents were sure to be proud of. Inside, he felt as though he may explode. Whenever that happened, he turned to his supply of stuffed animals. This time, however, there were none. Light considered stabbing the wall with his knife when he heard the distant sound of chirping outside his bedroom window. Pulling himself up from his closet floor, he walked over to the window and drew back the curtain. Smiling wickedly, Light twirled the knife in his hand as his eyes locked on the hungry, chirping baby birds in a nest that rested on branches that almost seemed to be offering them to him. “Thank you, God,” Light whispered to himself, feeling a silent prayer had been answered. Quietly he opened his window and reached for the birds.


	2. Little L

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to see what L's early life is like now. Warning- please check the new tags for underage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for Under Age.

Tonight the dumpster God’s were shining down favorably upon L. Tons of spoiled  food from the  busy restaurant was his for the taking. L hadn't eaten this good in weeks.  And the bread barely had any mold on it! Turning toward the scraggly grey cat crying by his leg,  L tossed down some smelly half eaten fish.  “Seems  we both get to feast tonight,” L whispered tiredly to his feline friend. 

The two of them wouldn't stick around and get caught by any of the restaurant staff though. L ate all he could before grabbing up what he could easily carry, his kitty at his heels. They had a pretty sweet nest in an abandoned building down in the red-light district. He’d hoped to start learning the _trade_ and making some money. Perhaps he could make enough to get out of the shit hole he found himself in.

Shattered glass was partially hidden by a thick coat of dust that was only disturbed where L and cat footprints landed. Sitting in his pile of soiled, smelly blankets, L unloaded his bounty. Kitty sniffed out a tasty morsel of cheese while L looked around. Nobody ever bothered him way up there mainly because they couldn't. The stairwell was blocked from a ceiling collapse so the only way up was through ventilation shafts and only L was small enough to fit through. He wouldn't be small enough forever, though, and he hoped by then he was away at some college living in a dorm with all of this behind him.

School had its perks  wit h daily lunches and showers in the gym. L could raid the lost and found for clothing and get basic medical attention in the nurses office. He was careful to never need a “call home”, however, because there  _ was  _ no home to call.  The school had been easy enough to fool  into believing he had parents, but the ruse would end if he ever got in trouble  or needed to be picked up or something. So he flew under the radar,  signing himself up for all the underprivileged kids programs he could. Documentation was easy enough to  forge and with technology the way it was, his imaginary parents could be away working constantly and never available in  person.

He ran out of his food stores around the end of June, though. Dumpster diving would have to do from now until August. He could almost taste the school breakfast as he laid on his dirty bedding and daydreamed about being back in school. Tomorrow he met with Scarlett and learned how to use his body to make money. Tomorrow he would grow up and lose his innocence, and he knew that. It was okay because it was what he had to do to survive. So tonight he enjoyed his rest. He enjoyed not knowing what sex work was like for one last night.

L would  snuggle with Kitty and dream of  living in a clean place with lots of sweets and cakes and pastries. He could eat all he wanted and never get sick or develop a cavity.  Someone was there so he wouldn’t be lonely, though he couldn’t see them. He just felt their presence and caught a glimpse of them in his peripheral.  L felt warm and safe and as though he were standing next to his best friend. Even though he had never had a best friend before, he was certain that’s what it felt like.

When L woke up, he stretched and shared a stale roll with Kitty before heading out to find Scarlett. He wasn’t nervous, not  yet. He was determined more than anything to do whatever it took to get what he wanted out of life.  If that meant  sex with adults at the tender age of 11, then that's what it meant.  “Stay here today, okay?” He said as he pet his purring cat before  standing straight and turning to look at the old ventilation shaft he used as an exit and sighing heavily. One day it would be a regular door he walked out of. One day.

Scarlett was  naturally beautiful but for some reason beyond L’s ability to understand , she covered up that natural beauty with heavy makeup. She wore foundation several shades too pale and a red lip that just didn’t seem like the right shade somehow. Her blush looked careless and uneven and her false lashes  and crumbling mascara made her look like she did everything while drunk. Her hair was box dye red and thick and long but  not shiny . It was a mess of loose curls and  was often partially clipped back in a manner that made it seem like  very little effort had been made to do anything with it.

“There's my boy,” Scarlett smiled as she put her cigarette out on the asphalt. Her teeth were all straight and almost white. It was a nice smile. L had always thought so. “ You look like you've had better days. Come in and get a bath.  I have a change of clothes for you.”

L nodded tiredly and followed her into the  older brick building. It was a cheap apartment complex. The kind overrun with roaches and ceiling leaks that management never fixed because the people who lived there were crack addicts and whores that nobody cared about. As long as rent got paid, any number of illegal activities were ignored. 

Scarlett unlocked the door  to her place and stepped in, L close behind. His wide eyes took in the colorfully decorated place.  It was clean and smelled good and had  candles and beads hanging and red, orange, and pink cloth drapes and cushy looking furniture. She was saying something to him as she led him into her bathroom but he hadn't caught it. 

The bathroom was decorated in blues and greens and the tub was big to his tiny 11 year old eyes and body . L thought he could drown in a tub so deep. Scarlett laid out towels for him. “If you need anything else just yell.”

“Alright,” he replied absentmindedly. The door shut and he shed his rags of clothing, tossing them away in the trash bin. The water was so hot and wonderful as it filled the tub, and he played with the bubbles the soap created as it filled. Cutting off the water, he stepped into the liquid heat, curling his toes against it. Adjusting to the temperature, he sat in the bubbly mess, the dirt already washing away to reveal skin far more porcelain than he remembered. Had he ever taken a bath? He'd had showers, but a bath? Maybe when he was very young and his parents were still alive. Back before he was old enough to develop long term memories. 

L scrubbed himself pink, the water turning brown and the tub feeling sandy on the bottom. He drained it and rinsed one last time, attempting to get as clean as possible. He knew he would have to be naked in front of adults so he wanted to be presentable. There were a few darker hairs beginning to grow in his pubic area, and he wondered if he should leave them or shave them. He had never been naked in front of someone before. He’d never even seen someone naked! The public library and school computers had pretty good filters so it wasn't like he had easy access to porn. He'd read a few books and watched a few movies and knew he was a quick study, so he expected it wouldn’t be a problem learning how to have sex for money and be good at it.

L brushed his teeth and sprayed some kind of sweet scent on himself. He then towel dried his hair and put on the clothes Scarlett left for him.  White sheer pants and a tunic type top. The material was comfortable even though it was see through. He shrugged. Opening the bathroom door, he called to Scarlett, “ I'm ready.”

“Good,” she said as she appeared in the doorway.  She looked him over with a critical eye and decided he looked good enough. “Come.” She motioned with her hand to follow and led him down the hall to a room. “ This is where you will stay. I typically take board out of earnings. Sometimes there is nothing left but your virginity sold for quite a bit. ”

“Oh, that's good I guess,” L touched his finger to his bottom lip as he took in the simple room and tried to understand what she was on about. He knew he was brilliant but sometimes he lacked in areas where the average person simply knew by some kind of instinct he was seemingly not born with. The room had a bed and a dresser with a small table which held a basket of condoms, lube, and toys. He swallowed hard at the appearance of some of the toys and hoped he hid his nerves well from Scarlett.

“I'll give you your earnings after the client leaves satisfied.” Scarlett was all business but she cared about this young boy. He was heartbreakingly innocent and she knew this was not the life for him. She hoped what he accomplished here led to better things. He was too bright to spend his life in a whore house.

Scarlett turned away to fetch the client as L sat on the mattress. He'd never had a bed before. At least, not one he remembered. While he was taking it all in, a tall man with blond hair appeared in the doorway, Scarlett standing behind. He was older but handsome, and seemed nice enough. “I'm Aiber ,” he introduced himself as he stepped into the room.

“L,” L replied shyly. His nerves were kicking in. This was it. Scarlett shut the door and left them quietly and part of L wished she’d stay. It was ridiculous of him to want that and he knew it. Still, what child doesn’t want their motherly figure to help them through a scary experience?

Aber undressed quickly, wasting none of the time he paid so handsomely for. L was both shocked and fascinated by the adult body. It was significantly bigger than him in every way. And hairier. L wasn’t sure how he was supposed to have sex with a man. None of his research  prepared him for this. He’d naively thought he would have female clients. It was logical, after all. Scarlett had male clients so shouldn’t he have female? It never occurred to him that people would have sex with the same sex. L tried not to panic, but he was gripping the mattress so tightly and his eyes were so wide and his breathing so fast that  even  Aiber , who didn’t know L at all, could tell the boy was panicking. 

Kneeling down in front of L, he placed a gentle hand on L’s knee and smiled up at him. “I won’t hurt you.” L breathed out, feeling better. Hopefully he could trust this man.  Aiber’s hand slid up the inside of L’s thigh. Even though the hand was over his pants, it still felt strange to L. Nobody had ever touched him this way before. Heck, nobody had ever touched him at all. Maybe his parents... but he didn’t remember that. And he wouldn’t be spending any time trying to remember because the next move  Aiber made was to massage L’s privates. He gulped and stiffened, then tried to relax at  Aiber’s request. It didn’t feel bad it just felt... strange? Kind of wrong? A little too personal? “Stand up,”  Aiber commanded gently as he let his hand fall away.

L did and  Aiber pulled L’s pants down as he stroked his own hard staff. The look on  Aiber’s face was strange to L. He almost seemed hungry and excited, like he was looking at L like something he wanted to devour.  It scared L a little, but he remained calm as  Aiber played with L’s penis, getting a slight chub out of him and laughing under his breath at it.  Aiber then stood and tilted his hips toward L’s face. “Suck on it. No teeth, okay?”

_ What the fuck?  _ L didn’t have time to think or react because  Aiber was pushing his head down onto the hard dick, pulling L’s hair harshly as he fucked the kids’ mouth. L sputtered and gagged and gasped for breath. He slowly pulled away. “Not bad. Work on the no teeth thing though. Your future clients may not be as forgiving as me.”

L was appreciative of the lesson. He nodded as he wiped the slobber from his mouth, the taste of dick disgusting to him.  Aiber lifted L’s shirt off and admired the white skin below him. It was so perfect and unblemished. He ran his hands over the soft flesh, ending with a firm grip on juvenile hips. “Turn around and lay on the bed,”  Aiber instructed.

Quietly, L did as he was told, allowing  Aiber to prop his hips up beneath a pillow and put his legs in the position he wanted. A cool, lubed toy graced L’s ass crack and rubbed his puckered entrance and he shivered. There was no way this wouldn’t hurt.  Aiber tried to be gentle and use the smallest plug he could find, but L was just so petite. He knew it wouldn’t be too bad until it was time for the real thing. Then again, half the pleasure was in hearing the screams.

Outside the bedroom door Scarlett clutched her chest and tried to hold back her own tears. L was screaming and crying, begging  Aiber to stop. She couldn’t stand to hear it, so she hurried down the stairs to go drown out the noise in a bottle of wine. This life would not be fair to L, she knew, and this was only the beginning.


	3. WAM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light and L are teenagers now and finally meet when they just happen to be roommates at a prestigious high school for the gifted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's mention of animal killing but nothing descriptive. Also I feel really bad about stomping everyone's heart out so here's a more lighthearted chapter I guess? Sorry guys.

High school was strange if only for the simple fact that Light was living away from home for the first time in his life. He had made it into an exclusive private boarding school. It was quite an honor because only a few hundred kids from around the world made it in. On top of that, it was located in England, so Light knew it was unlikely his parents would visit and disturb him. This meant he had unfettered freedom to act on his calling. Light knew his upbringing was more harsh than most others, but he appreciated it now that he was older.

Looking back on his first killing at just 9 years old,  Light smiled. He had stared at the blood on his hands, shaking, worried he would get caught. His vision blurred and heart pounded as he scrubbed his hands clean in the bathroom sink. Disposing of the evidence quickly, Light was able to make it seem as though a cat or some other animal had raided the nest. After that, it was thrilling to watch as his family discovered the remains and  tsk’d at what a shame it was that animals did this.  Light had never felt such glee at getting away with something before. Never felt so high.

That night and many nights after, Light prayed for forgiveness for his actions. Not because he was sorry, but because he wanted to get into heaven.  One day it occurred to him that there was much killing in the Holy Book.  God led many a king to war and ordered many a slaughter. He’d even ordered the slaughter of unbelievers children. Maybe, Light thought, he was destined to be a  killer for God. Designed in his very nature to work as God’s envoy to rid the world of its filth. What an honor!

Fifteen year old Light  breathed deep as he scanned the campus, book bag slung over his shoulder as he pulled his wheeled luggage along the side walk. The school was a stunning old manor  that had been remodeled into a school. As it grew and needed more space for different programs, smaller building s were erected in a similar  architecture to the manor. It was beautiful and pristine and Light felt he belonged here.

A mower roared in the distance as the smell of fresh cut grass wafted along a light breeze. Even the sod was perfectly manicured.  _ Ah, yes. Only perfection will do.  _ Light felt that this school reflected his own need for perfection in every way. He  _ knew  _ he had been sent here to begin his mission for God. Only truly good and righteous students belonged at WAM. Students were allowed in for their intelligence, but Light would make sure only the truly worthy made it to graduation. World Academic Masters was not a name to be sullied by shady characters and corrupt politics. Anyone who didn’t abide by a high moral code was not worthy of a diploma from WAM.

First, however, Light needed to get to his dorm, meet his roommate, and settle into a basic routine. Part of being a killer who didn’t get caught was good surveillance and proper casing of his victims. He’d never killed people before. He’d graduated from birds to squirrels and then dogs and cats, but people were big. They were loud. They fought back and were unpredictable. Sometimes they carried weapons or had fighting skills. Thankfully for Light, WAM had a strict zero tolerance policy for weapons of any kind. That made it so much sweeter  and, in many  ways, probably too easy for him to pluck his first target.

Entering the shared dorm that came with his scholarship, Light announced his presence softly to the other person in the room. It was a guy, so that was good. Light wasn’t sure how he felt about rooming with a girl. It seemed inappropriate to him despite the school having a co-ed policy that was relatively lax. He didn’t agree with it but he also wasn’t in charge. At least he wouldn’t have to worry about it. He just hoped his roommate wasn’t a whore. “I’m Light  Yagami ,” Light announced kindly in perfect  English .

The dark headed guy turned around to face Light, sizing him up while simultaneously smiling almost as phonily as Light was. He reached out a hand. “L.”

“Like the letter? Is it short for something?” Light asked, curious as he shook the  strangers' pale hand.

“Yup. Might be but I don’t know. Never got the chance to ask,” L quipped as he ended the hand shake and turned back to unpacking.

“Oh, I  apologize if I came across as disrespectful. I did not mean to,” Light said with a slight bow, unable to stop himself from moving the way his culture had ingrained in him to do from birth.

Surprised, L glanced at Light’s display with mild curiosity. Most people didn’t apologize to L for things that intentionally hurt him, much less accidental things that did not. “Mizu ni nagashite,” L said, his smile slightly more genuine yet somehow less bright than before.

Light looked up and for a moment allowed genuine surprise to cross his  ever-guarded face. It relaxed into a real smile and Light thought he and L would probably get along just fine. He began unpacking his things on his side of the dorm, making his bed and organizing his desk. So far, WAM was surpassing his expectations. 

Across the room, L breathed in silent relief that Light was not some creep or asshole he would have to defend himself against. It would be alright if he had to, it wasn’t like he was some pussy like most of the other kids there. Something about having a room with a bed where he could feel safe and not have to share it for money was incredibly appealing and relaxing. Maybe he’d finally get some sleep.  _ Scarlett would be proud,  _ L thought with fond affection. She had saved every bit of money she could and helped him apply for the scholarship to attend WAM before she died. It was the single nicest thing anybody had ever done for him. It was the  _ only  _ nice thing anyone had ever done for him.  _ "You were meant for greater things, L,”  _ she had said.


	4. At Night He Comes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light share a moment.

“Stop…please…please stop…I'm begging you. Oh, god. Ooh! Oh God! OH GOD!!!”

  
“L, WAKE UP!!” Light was shaking L's shoulders so hard that he was lifting the other boy off the bed. The whole bed rattled and banged against the wall with the force. It didn't even register with Light that he was straddling L and very little else aside from thin pajamas and a blanket separated their genitals.  
L's eyes shot open, seeming somehow impossibly large as terror passed through them while his mind tried to make sense of the world. Clutching Light, L shamelessly leaned into his chest and sobbed. Relief would come soon enough but right now he shook and felt weak and had no control over himself. L didn't want to cry into Light's night shirt. He didn't want to cry at all. Nightmares never really did care what L wanted.

  
“Hey, it's okay,” Light tried to comfort, stiff and unsure of the close proximity to his roommate. Light barely knew how to have a friend at all much less comfort one who was in distress. Eventually, Light relaxed and let his hands lay on L in a way he hoped portrayed comfort. Should he pat L’s head? His back? Say something more? “What's wrong with you?” wasn’t exactly what Light had planned on saying, but it's what came out when L went into round two of hysterics.

  
Finally pulling himself together, L pushed himself away from Light’s chest a bit and rubbed his eyes, an embarrassed smile gracing his lips as he looked down. “So much is wrong with me. So very much.” 

  
Light felt something in his chest tighten at the way L looked in the darkness of their room. He couldn’t place the feeling. The way his eyes glistened with tears and reflected unspeakable horrors made Light feel like he was somehow sharing in L’s sadness. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I just wanted to know what happened and if you're okay.”

  
Not used to being cared about, L didn’t receive the words as genuine at first. However, looking up into Light’s face, L could see he was genuine. “I…” Suddenly L realized Light had been sitting on his lap and his face went from tear stained sadness to red embarrassment. In the panicked haze of waking up he had not realized it sooner. Now that he was calming down, something about Light’s comfort, position over his lap, and striking features had him a bit turned on. The last thing he needed was his new roommate realizing he was both gay and attracted to him. “Do you mind if I draw my knees up?” L asked carefully.

  
“Oh! Sorry!” Light quickly dismounted from his roommates lap and awkwardly sat on the edge of the bed. He hadn’t intended to be in such a compromising position and felt horribly embarrassed. “I didn’t even realize…”

  
“No worries,” L said casually as he drew his knees into folded arms. Relief washed over him as he successfully hid his erection. “Thank you, Light. I often have nightmares. I don't sleep well. I'm sorry I disturbed you.”

  
Light found himself missing the closeness and warmth of holding L. He felt cold and odd now. It wasn’t that affection was altogether foreign to him. His mother was always affectionate and his sister loved giving hugs. Perhaps it was because L was another guy and affection wasn't something his father ever showed. Light couldn't figure it out for all his brilliance and because of that, L seemed like an enigma to him. Light could tell that he would never lose interest in his strange, mysterious roommate. “Why do you have nightmares?”

  
L wasn't sure what to say. He had never explained his life to anyone before. How does one explain the trauma of becoming a child prostitute? “I…”

  
“I'm sorry,” Light cut him off. “It’s none of my business. We should really try to get back to sleep.” Light stood and began crossing the room, knowing that if he allowed himself to continue talking he would eventually say something truly foolish and regrettable.

  
“Wait,” L blurted out a bit before remembering to contain himself. Light stopped and looked back at L from over his shoulder. “I feel stupid asking this, but I think I'll sleep better if I do. Would you mind?” L motioned to the empty space beside him on the bed as he scooted closer to the wall.

  
Light didn't reply. He couldn’t. His lips were sealed shut as his heart hammered away in his chest. All he could do was turn toward L and climb into the bed beside him, under the covers. L’s warm, lithe body so strange feeling against his own and yet so nice. Light didn't have the words for the things he was feeling, but as he draped one arm over L’s waist, he fell asleep knowing he liked it.

  
Likewise, L fell asleep comforted and calm, the weight of Light’s arm like a form of protection from all the things that haunted him. L would never have pleasant dreams; it was far too late for that. But he could at least get through the night without fear.


	5. Plotting and Planning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light hurts L's feelings and sets his sights on Misa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a little bit of a short chapter but it is setting the story up for some fucked up shenanigans!

Light glared across the lawn as he sat in the shade of the large oak tree with L. They typically took this spot for lunch because they could easily people watch. It was simply the best seat in the house and often came with quite the dramatic displays. Today was no exception as Misa  Amane marched across the manicured lawn just to slap the absolute shit out of a fellow student, Matt. His glasses flung off his face with the force, and an audible gasp could be heard from the onlookers.

“ You dare cheat on me, and to make it worse, with a  _ guy?! _ _ ”  _ Her arms were flailing as she screamed,  obviously giving zero fucks about the scene she was creating.

“Misa,  you and I aren't together. I've always been gay. Mello has always been my boyfriend,” Matt explained as he recovered his glasses and fixed them on his face.  “You need help.”

Misa huffed, indignant. Wheeling around, she stormed off, ignoring the snickers of the other students.  Matt rubbed his cheek as he wondered what made Misa so crazy and why she targeted him. 

With an eye roll, Light swallowed his bite of sandwich. “ She's such a disgusting whore.”

“What was that?” L asked, his stomach dropping. He’d heard Light the first time, he just didn’t want to believe it.  As they got to know each other, L found that Light was smug , self righteous, and arrogant, thinking most others were beneath him. Light was great at hiding  those feelings, slapping on a smile and pretending to be entertained by the company of others. L could tell, however, that Light was bored and irritated by the brain numbingly dull conversations  of his peers. It was mostly his observations of Light when they were alone  verses  in a crowd that showed him this, but occasionally Light would say things in private that confirmed L’ s observations. This was the first time Light had referred to someone  in a derogatory manner, however, and it caught L by surprise and, deep down,  disappointed him.

Light turned his head toward L and cleared his throat.  “Misa. She's gross. No shame, no morals. She sleeps  with the professors to keep  her grades up. She only got into this school because of money.”

It was true, of course. Misa  Amane was a famous model, actress, and if you were tone deaf, singer.  What she lacked in intelligence she made up for in raw talent and work ethic. Oh, and blow jobs.  After her parents were murdered, Misa was left to fend for herself at fourteen years old. The small sum of money she was left was burned through quickly,  but by the time it was gone she was beginning to make money modeling. Her fame landed her just as many stalkers as it did fans, so she chose WAM for its  security and privacy. Nobody could bother her here.

L shrank in his seat and stared blankly at his empty pudding cup. “I see.” _I'm a whore. I have transactional sex like Misa._ L couldn't take the thought of Light finding him repulsive. Light was his first friend. His only friend. Rising quickly from his seat, L disposed of his food in the nearest bin and left Light wondering what was wrong. L had thought to give some excuse but found he couldn’t look at Light or speak to him.

“ Huh?” Light watched L go, wondering what had gotten into him.  _ Does he like Misa?  _ Light’s stomach turned at the thought.  She was not worthy of L’s affections.  Narrowing his eyes, Light stared out across the yard as he finished his lunch, eyes locking on the idiot blond.  She simply had to go.

Rising from the soft grass, Light dusted himself off and disposed of his waste. L could be dealt with later. Right now Light was laser focused, his sights set on the waste of space before him. _Our bodies are sacred temples and you have defiled yours,_ Light thought with grit teeth and balled fists as he approached the blond from behind. He was mere inches from her when he heard a small, nasally voice shout, “Light Yagami! There you are!”

“Huh?” Light turned to his left to see a short freckle faced kid with wide frame glasses staring up at him. He thumbed through the stack of papers in his hands and pulled one out, handing it to Light.

“ You've been nominated to run for Student Body President ,” the kid explained. “This here explains how to formally submit and announce your campaign.”

Light was about to object when Misa turned around and clapped her hands in excitement. “Oh, Light! You would make a perfect president! You have the face of a politician!”

“ So, he looks like a liar?”

“Shut up, Mello!”

“No, I mean he’s dashingly handsome.”  Misa smiled stunningly at Light, realizing for the first time that he really was a good looking young man.

Light saw his opportunity and seized it. “ Every good president needs a first lady. Would you be willing to help me with my campaign?”

Misa squealed in delight and freckle face sighed in relief that Light would run.  The onlookers either seemed indifferent or rolled their eyes at Misa. Light exchanged numbers with her and excused himself to class. What could be better than becoming president and then tragically losing his faithful girlfriend to a heinous crime? The whole school would mourn for him. They'd cheer for him as he bravely vowed to bring whoever did it to justice. Light could almost hear the whole school cheering for him. 

His fantasy was interrupted when he realized L was not in class. It turned Light's stomach in an unfamiliar way and he didn't like it. L never missed class. He never really paid attention either but that was another matter. Even on nights the insomnia took over and he could barely keep his eyes open, L managed to drag himself into class. All Light could think about the entire lecture was L and what had happened at  lunch. Light’s leg tapped uncontrollably as he watched the clock on the wall, patiently waiting for dismissal. It couldn’t come fast enough. The bell couldn’t ring soon enough. Light didn’t care what it looked like to the other students as he bolted out of the classroom and toward his dorm. 

When he slung the door open and stormed in, however, L was not there. He looked all over the dorm, even in the bathroom, and found the place empty. Pulling his cell phone from his pocket, Light shot L a text but got no response. Frustrated, Light called him. L hit ignore and sent him straight to voicemail. Feeling pissed, Light threw his phone on the bed and stomped around the dorm. It occurred to him that with L gone, he could spend some quality quiet time plotting his very first human kill. Light smiled to himself, feeling a sense of calm come over him. Yes, that’s exactly what he’d do.


	6. They Were In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light work through their issue and L confesses to Light the truth about his past.

“Where have you been?” Light’s question cut through the darkness as more of an accusation than the concerned question it was meant to be. He hadn’t been able to sleep despite calming himself with a detailed plan to murder Misa and set it up to look like a suicide and garner him the sympathy of the school. He’d even discovered her online journal and hacked into her account to do a little creative editing of past posts. Despite all of this and a cup of chamomile, he still couldn’t sleep.

L stopped mid step, his normal slouch more pronounced than normal as he attempted to enter the dorm silently. Now that it was clear he wouldn’t be able to sneak in without waking Light, he planted both feet and stood a little straighter. “It’s none of your business,” He replied flatly.

Light couldn’t make out L’s features but it was clear he was still pissed at Light for whatever reason. “I was worried about you.”

L wasn’t sure how to respond. Worried? What the fuck did that even mean? L grunted a bit and continued over to the bathroom to get ready for bed, essentially ignoring Light. This move pissed Light off all over again and he threw the covers off himself and followed L to the bathroom. He slammed the door into the wall with a loud bang as he went to confront L over whatever the hell was going on, but stopped short. L had removed his shirt and was covered in bruises and scratches, some of them bleeding. “What the hell?” Light muttered in shock.

“Fuck off!” L said, shoving Light out of the doorway and slamming the door shut, locking it. What he did to earn money was none of Light’s fucking business.  Aiber never left L short, never gave him a hard time about money, and was always generous. He bought L gifts and took him out to nice dinners. He knew  Aiber would find him becoming too old for his tastes soon and move on to the next pet. That’s why L saved everything he could. He hoped that if  Aiber dropped him, he’d have enough money to get him through school. The next time L got a job making money, it would be with his degree in the career field of his choice. He would never have to exchange sex for money or food ever again. 

A hiss escaped L as he touched a tender cut. He’d heal, he knew. But damn was  Aiber rough this time. Light had banged on the door a few more times asking if L was alright but L just ignored him. All he wanted was a hot shower and his warm bed. There was no way he wouldn’t sleep well tonight, nightmares be damned. Eventually Light gave up on getting L to talk to him and L enjoyed the quiet, steamy shower alone. Maybe he was a whore, but he was a whore with money.

L fell asleep quickly, not  caring to try and figure out if Light was faking  being asleep in his own bed. The sweet comfort of rest didn’t last long, however, and L found himself screaming and crying into Light’s arms as he awoke from the worst nightmare he’d had in a while. “ Sh , I'm here. You're okay,” Light was whispering as he stroked disheveled black hair. Light had become good at comforting L, and could tell by L’s sleep pattern just how bad his dreams would be before he ever woke up. He knew tonight would be bad. That’s why he had climbed into L’s bed right after the  pale idiot fell asleep. 

“I'm sorry,” L mumbled through shuddering breaths as he rested his head on Light’s chest and tried to calm down. It was far beyond him to understand why Light cared about him, and L would never say it out loud, but it terrified him to realize how much the needed Light.

“There’ s nothing to be sorry for,” Light said as he held L against him. He found he had to resist the urge to kiss L, and contemplated how weird it would be if he kissed the top of L’s  head.  “ I genuinely  don’t know what  I did to make you upset with me, but if  you think you're up for it, I’d like to know.”

Caught up in an unusually vulnerable state , L felt his defenses melt away.  Light genuinely wanted to know. He genuinely cared.  Sitting up, L searched Light's face for the lie. “ I felt hurt earlier today by what you said about Misa.”

_ I knew it!  _ Light thought. “You like her?”

“What? No. She  uhh … isn't my type. ” L scrambled to explain without giving too much away. “ It hurt because I'm like her.”

Light scoffed a bit as he softly laughed. “ You two are nothing alike.”

“When  I was eleven,  the Madame of a whorehouse sold my virginity to the highest bidder. From that day until I came to this school, I lived with her, selling my body to men and women for money and food. I was a starving orphan who stood no chance at survival without it. ” L hadn't noticed he'd started shaking. He'd never told anyone his story before.

Suddenly L made so much sense to Light.  Of course, what L said was shocking and horrible and it made Light angry.  It dawned on Light that L had gotten those marks from- “ That's where you were tonight. Because you were mad at me?”

L couldn't look Light in the face as he nodded. The extent he went to survive never made him feel good, but the shame he felt in Light _knowing…_ it was all consuming. It didn’t occur to him that Light hadn’t let him go until L felt Light’s grip tighten around him. Instead of pushing him away in repulsion, Light drew him closer. He clung to Light, his hands snaking around Light’s shoulders as he buried his face in that warm chest where he could feel his favorite heart beat.

They were silent for so long that neither remembered exactly when they had fallen back asleep. All they knew was that they awoke entangled in each other and without a word between them they knew they were in love .


	7. Bye Bye, Misa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light has a night of firsts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll with this story so I'm just gonna keep going!

Light decided it was no contest between L and Misa. He held tight to L's hand as he told her to fuck off in the hallway. She cried and carried on about how the guys she liked always turned out to be gay. Onlookers watched in rapt fascination as the blond ran off to cry in her dorm. It was a bold political move, but Light somehow knew the school would support the progressiveness of a gay president. Hell, it was practically homophobic _not_ to vote for him.

Besides, Misa ‘killing herself’ because of her devastation over her love life was quite fitting.  Light would go over to her dorm after class  to make amends and 'find’ her dead. It was all too perfect.  “I won’t be long,” Light said after escorting L back to their dorm. “I just don't want her doing anything stupid.”

L understood and nodded quietly as he closed the door behind him. Being with Light was refreshing and filled L  with unfamiliar emotions. They hadn't done more than hold hands and hug because Light wanted everything to be on L’s terms. L had never had that before. He'd never had a relationship that wasn't built on exchanging sex for _ something.  _ Yet Light gave L everything and asked for nothing in return. Light chased away his demons and held him when he was scared. He opened doors for L and bought him sweets.  And L didn't have to do a  _ thing  _ to earn these rewards. It was mind blowing, and L took comfort in the fact that Light would let L bask in it for as long as he needed.  There was no rush, no demand. Just seeing L happy was enough for Light.

As Light made his way to Misa, he thought about what he might make L for dinner when he got back. Maybe he could try his hand at a scratch made German chocolate cake for dessert. L would certainly love that. His heart bounded in his chest as he knocked on her door, his thoughts of  L and cake slipping away as his mind became focused on the task at hand.

“ Light?” a bleary eyed Misa asked as she cracked the door and peaked through.

“May I come in? I wanted to apologize.”

Misa perked up at that and opened her door all the way for him. Light slid in gracefully, all apologetic smiles and hugs.  “ I brought you something. To say I'm sorry,” he held up the bubbly bottle of sparkling grape juice.  “I thought you would like how it looked like champagne.”

She smiled as she took the bottle. “ I do.” Misa walked over to her little kitchen area and poured them each a glass of the juice.  They toasted to being friends, and Light attempted to continue talking while Misa sipped. Eventually he’d  _ accidentally  _ spill his juice , and even though Misa would offer him another, she'd feel too clumsy to pour it.  “ Something's wrong,” she slurred as she grabbed the edge of the counter. Looking up at Light, her eyes widened with worry at the predatory gleam in his eyes. “ Oh no.”

“Don't fight it, Misa,” Light said as he caught her when she fell. His knees nearly buckled beneath the weight. “ You’re heavier than you look.”

She would’ve slapped him had she been able to move. Light smelled her hair and lowered her to the floor, licking his lips as though he were looking down  at a dessert. “You're my first, you know,” Light whispered as he stroked her pretty face.

Standing, Light glanced over at the bathroom then back to his victim. He grabbed one of her legs and gave it a solid tug, but her body didn't budge.  “What the fuck,  Amane ?” Light was panting, breaking a sweat as he heaved. It was all he could do to get her to barely move across the floor. “ Ugh, you cow! This is impossible!”

Internally, Misa laughed at Light's struggle. She might be about to die but at least her killer had his work cut out for him.  Light decided to change tactics and rolled her onto a blanket he could more easily drag across the floor. It helped, but she was still impossibly heavy.

Sliding to the floor at her feet, Light decided he would never be able to lug her into the tub like he’d originally planned. _Guess the tile floor will have to do._ Rising, he went to fetch a knife from her kitchen. Upon his return, he smiled at the sheer look of horror on her face. “Too bad you won't be able to scream. I rather would've liked to hear it.”

Tears streamed down her face as he began to cut her wrists length wise, using her limp right hand to hold the knife. The rich red blood that pooled onto the white tile floor below was beautiful to Light. He marveled at how the life drained slowly from her eyes. This was much better than killing animals. So much more intense.

Light stepped out of the bathroom and locked it behind him. With a deep breath, he banged loudly on it while calling Misa’s name before kicking it open and screaming for help. Knowing his DNA would be all over the crime scene anyway, he slid to his knees and grabbed her wrists. Taking off his shirt, Light wrapped her bloody wrists as he continued calling for help.

It wasn’t long before a few students  came  and in their panic  either froze, called for help,  or administered CPR.  It was no use and Misa was pronounced dead by the time emergency services arrived.  Statements were taken by police and  Light played the part of devastated friend well. 

Upon hearing the news, L rushed over to make sure Light was alright. He could hardly catch his breath from running as he threw himself into Light's arms. “I thought something had happened to you. Some kid said he heard both you and Misa were dead.”

“ Oh, L, I'm so sorry,” Light soothed. He felt terrible. He had never intended to frighten L this way. It seemed that even in death,  Misa was finding ways to cause them trouble. 

Overwhelmed with emotion and sweet relief,  L surged his mouth upward against Light's, tightening his fists against the blanket Light had draped over himself and pulling Light hard against him. The kiss surprised Light, who didn’t know what to do at first. He softened and closed his wide eyes, drawing L into him  lovingly. A first kill  _ and  _ a first kiss? Could the night be any more perfect?

Once Light was cleared by the medical staff, he and L walked hand in hand back to their dorm.  Light was beyond exhausted, his body aching from his efforts. Nothing sounded better to him in that moment than lying in bed curled up next to L .

L couldn't agree more, apparently, because he clung to Light more than usual. With one leg wedged between Light's two, L had every conceivable part of his body pressed against Light. Figuring the ice had been broken earlier, Light kissed the top of L’s head as he held him. He could feel L sigh comfortably into his affection, soaking it up as though there would never be enough. 


	8. Oh, Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All kinds of fucked up shit happens. Trigger warning for rape.

Three things happened in the days following the suicide of Misa  Amane . First, class was suspended. Second, counseling was offered to every student and suicide awareness meetings were held in the cafeteria. Third, L and Light’s kiss was featured on the front cover of the school newspaper. L was embarrassed at first but Light clipped the picture and framed it, placing it on the nightstand by their shared bed. This eventually made L smile because it meant Light was proud of their relationship and wasn’t trying to hide him or feeling ashamed. Another thing that made L smile was the fact that Light had taken to baking while class was suspended. There was no shortage of delicious pastries, cakes, and cookies. It was easily the happiest L had ever been. He also appreciated the delicate and respectful way Light treated him. It wasn’t that Light thought L was weak or  that he  wasn’t insanely physically attracted to his boyfriend; he was simply cognizant of everything L had been through and wanted to respect his boundaries and his body. Light always waited for L to come to him and to initiate affection. It became their routine to watch  tv while snuggling on the couch enjoying whatever baked goodies Light had made that day.

Roughly a week into the new routine and relaxed schedule of no classes, L found himself answering their door and facing two rather intimidating looking police officers. “Hi there. Is Light Yagami in?”

“Uh, yes.  Come in. I'll go get him.” L showed them to their tiny kitchen table and tried to breathe through his anxiety as he went to  fetch Light from the bathroom.

“Think it’s about Misa?” Light asked as followed L back to where he’d left the officers waiting. L simply shrugged.

“Hi there, son.  We’re sorry to interrupt your day, but we have some questions about miss  Amane . You see, we can’t rule her  death a  suicide. It’s unfortunately looking like a homicide.”

“ _ What?”  _ Light feigned his shock well as he sat across from the officers at the table.

“ Unfortunately, yes. Now, you stated that you and miss  Amane were the only two in the apartment the night of her murder, correct?”

“Yes, that’s correct,” Light said with fake anxiety. Inwardly he was certain they wouldn’t know it was him. How could they?

“Did you all eat or drink anything?”

“Well, yes. We had sparkling grape juice. But that was it.”

“I see,” the officer nodded as he took notes.

L squirmed in the chair  beside Light, uncomfortable with the conversation they were having. Was Light in trouble? Did somebody frame him? Did he  _ do  _ something to Misa? L looked over at Light and wondered for a moment if Light had it in him to kill somebody. What would be his motivation though? It didn't make sense.

After asking a few more questions, the two large men bid the boys a goodnight and left. L turned to Light and studied him. Light seemed  unphased on the outside, but internally he was certain those gears of his were grinding.  “Do you think they  suspect you? ”

“Yes. I was the last to see her alive and she died right after our breakup.”

L could understand the reasoning. He didn’t like it though.  _ Should they suspect you?  _ “I'm sure it’ll blow over.”

“Me too,” Light lied.

***

To further complicate matters, Aiber decided to pay L a visit while Light was out buying more sugar, flour, and eggs to bake something for L. How Aiber got through the schools security was beyond L, and the visit was quite unwelcome. “You’ve been ignoring me,” Aiber said as he approached L, who cowered despite trying not to.

“ I told you,  Aiber , I'm in school now so  I won't be doing it anymore. I'm sorry. You'll have to find someone else.”

To  Aiber , not only was there no one like L, but  to refuse him was the greatest insult.  Aiber reached out and grabbed a handful of dark hair, fingernails scraping against the scalp. L cried out in pain as  Aiber pulled L into him and breathed his scent in deep , cocking L’ s head back . “ You smell like someone else,”  Aiber commented, now understanding why his precious L had abandoned him.  He was _ in love. How cute.  _ Aiber crashed their mouths together, assaulting L with his vicious tongue as he pushed L onto the couch and undid his pants.

“Please,  Aiber , just let me go. Don't do this,” L pleaded, knowing  i t would be of no use. 

Aiber ignored L as he harshly  prepped L to take his cock. Knowing not to make it worse for himself, L gave in and relaxed, trying to imagine it was Light inside him. It was difficult to pretend with  Aiber grunting in this ear,  but L closed his eyes , covered his face, and imagined sex with Light. He imagined it would be beautiful and wonderful and loving. Nothing like the staggered thrusts from the sweaty, heaving  blob on top of  him.

Aiber wrapped one strong hand around L’s throat and began choking him as he thrust himself deep and hard inside L. It wasn’t a surprise to be choked, but L felt alarmed because  Aiber was using too much force. L couldn’t breathe, and his eyes shot open and hands flew to  Aiber’s chest as he tried to fight him off.  Aiber simply smiled evilly and swatted L’s pathetic attempts away. “I’ll make sure that nobody can ever have you again,”  Aiber grumbled lowly as he strangled L and fucked him mercilessly, his orgasm crashing through him as L began to lose consciousness.

Just before his blurry vision went completely black, L felt  Aiber’s grip fall away from his throat. Gasping for air, L dizzily tried to take in the scene before him as  Aiber’s hands flew to his own throat, attempting to stifle the blood squirting from the gash across his throat. Blood spurted across L’s face and body, and he sat up in shock as  Aiber crumpled to the floor and Light, who was wild with rage, jumped on the large man and began stabbing him over and over again. Once L had his faculties about him, he reached down and touched Light’s hair, “Hey, I’m okay. Light, I’m okay now.”

Tears were smearing the blood splatter as they fell from Light’s eyes. Dropping the knife, he pulled L into his arms and held him as they both sobbed above the crumpled, bleeding body. A few moments into their embrace, someone knocked at their door. The two boys looked at each other, blood soaked and shaking. Light let L go and stood, making his way to the door. Looking through the peep hole, he swore under his breath. It was the police.


	9. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light sort of gets away with murder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll, yo! And I want to thank everyone who is so involved in this story and leaving such brilliant comments. You guys are the cream of my crop!

It was equally bizarre as it was terrifying to sit naked beneath a thin hospital gown and wait for the nurse to return. They had already explained to L what a rape kit was and what to expect, but he was in a state of shock and almost  u nresponsive  at that point. Maybe it was seeing Light leave in handcuffs or the fact that it felt like the entire school saw the aftermath of his rape and attempted  murder that sent him over the edge. 

At least L remained compliant. When asked to change into the gown, he did. When asked to go for an x ray of his neck, he went. When asked to lay back on the table and scoot down to the edge of it, he did. He didn’t flinch at the feeling of something cold being pasted onto his genitals. All he could think about was Light, afraid of him being locked away forever, never seeing him again.

Even though sex was the furthest thing from his mind, it killed L inside to think that he may never get the chance to have that beautiful moment of love making with Light. He may never get to touch him again. Kiss those sweet lips or feel that soft hair. It was an unbearable future and L didn’t want to live in a world where Light wasn’t in it, wasn’t right next to him.

When the nurse and doctor had finished fully inspecting L, they left him alone to rest. They'd asked if there was anyone to call and he desperately wanted to say Light. Instead, he confessed to being an orphan. They called a social worker to come speak with him and L was afraid of what might happen to him. Would he be kicked out of school? If only Light were there to help him.

They had both agreed that full disclosure about what had happened was the best plan. L regretted it now. At the time he was thinking they'd give statements and be left alone. He didn't know they'd pile him into the back of an ambulance and arrest Light. The sun was setting and L’s hospital room grew dim. He hoped and prayed to a God he didn't believe in that Light would come.

Across town, Light had to answer a multitude of questions, his hands shaking uncontrollably in his lap. He wasn’t afraid of being punished for his crimes. He was still livid that he’d walked in on his boyfriend being raped and strangled. He'd stab  Aiber again and again if he had to. Hell, a very big part of him  _ wanted to. _

A friendly looking female detective with long dark hair walked into the room where Light had sat waiting, staring at the table. “Hi there. I'm Naomi,” she said as she sat before him and opened the  file she’d carried in. She began laying out pictures of  Aiber when he was still alive, turning them so Light could inspect them. “He went by many aliases. This  Aiber guy was a real piece of work and I have been on his case for years now trying to catch him.”

“I see,” Light said as he looked down at the row of photographs.

“I don’t think anyone will be sad he is gone,” Naomi remarked.

Light breathed out and tried to steady his hands as he reached to lift a single photograph. He figured it wouldn’t be the worst thing if his shaking was mistaken for fear. “What will happen to me now?”

“Well, since you were quite cooperative, as of right now you won't be charged with anything. You were defending your boyfriend, so your actions possibly saved the both of you.  Aiber was a wanted criminal for child trafficking, child pornography, and other sex crimes.” Naomi explained carefully. It didn’t mean they couldn’t charge Light later on. “However, that doesn’t mean his family can’t press charges.”

Light took in the information with a solemn look. He wanted to be glad for what happened, but he couldn’t get over seeing L nearly die. It would haunt him, he knew.  “Thank you,” he managed, the shaking of his hands slowly dissipating.

Naomi nodded and stood, leading Light out of the room to the front of the precinct. She arranged for another officer to drive him home, but he requested going to the hospital instead. They obliged. It wasn’t a far drive, and with traffic dying down it didn't take any time at all. 

When Light walked through the door into L’s room, L thought perhaps there was a God after all.  They both burst into tears as Light climbed into the bed with L and pulled him close. He peppered pale skin with wet kisses , slowly calming down enough to speak. “I thought I was going to lose you.”

“ Me too,” L whispered, voice hoarse.

Light tenderly placed his fingers over the bloom of bruises across L’s neck. “ Does it hurt?”

“It's only a little sore,” L admitted, trying on a small smile for Light. “ I'll be okay.”

“I don't know what I’d do without you, L.”  Light nearly choked on his words as he stroked L’s hair. That monster would never touch his beloved L again. Nobody would ever hurt L again.

“I  love you, Light,” L confessed for the first time as he twined his fingers with Light's and lost himself in caramel eyes.

Light pressed a soft kiss to L’s mouth. “I love you too. When we're older will you marry me?”

“ Yes. I'll marry you everyday for the rest of my life,” L vowed sleepily.  He buried his face in Light’s chest and fell asleep. Despite everything, L would not have nightmares. In fact, L would never have another nightmare ever again.

The boys would return to school a hero and a survivor. Light would win the presidency by a landslide, the whole school in awe of his courageous actions.  Secretly, Light found that he had thoroughly enjoyed stabbing  Aiber to death. Not just because he was angry either.  Light loved the way it felt to push a blade through flesh. It took more force than he initially thought as well.  It was  thrilling, and he wanted to do it again.

The boys celebrated Light's victory with some home made cake and ice cream.  Light was opening a new extra large container of rainbow sprinkles for L when L looked up from his dish and said, “ I want to make love to you.”

The statement was shocking and out of the blue. So much so that sprinkles went flying everywhere as Light finally ripped off the lid.  L giggled but Light just stared at him. “Really?”

“ Yes. I'm ready. I don't want my shitty past to define my sex life. Are you ready?”

Light wasn't sure. He'd never had sex before! “I want to, I'm just nervous. You'll help me, right?”

L nodded, a spot of ice cream adorably splattered on his cheek. He had a whole host of tricks to show Light. L was certain he could make Light's first time amazing.  Light set the jar of half spilled sprinkles down on the counter and moved in to kiss L. The mess all over the floor could wait. He was going to make love to his boyfriend.


	10. Making Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Super short and sweet chapter. I wanted to write more but felt like it kind of naturally ended where it wanted so I let it.

The lights had been dimmed and the door locked. A single candle was lit to try and create some sort of ambiance. Its lonely flicker was lost to the vastness of the room it occupied, however. Light didn't feel as nervous as he thought about what his first time might be like. Maybe it was because L seemed so confident. Almost casual, as it were. L shrugged off his clothing as he had done dozens of times before in front of hundreds of people. For him, it was as natural as breathing. 

For Light, seeing L unveiled before him for the very first time felt unreal. L seemed almost ethereal as the glow of the moon outside bounced off his perfect white skin. Light remained seated on the edge of the bed as L had instructed him to do.  It seemed Light’s quiet, compliant boyfriend would find his dominance in the bedroom.

The way L seemed to float across the room had Light awestruck. He couldn't utter a single word as L’s warm fingers lifted the hem of Light's shirt up and over his head. Once the shirt was removed and lying somewhere on the floor, L’s curious hands began to touch Light's soft, golden skin. Leaning in, he kissed Light as he slowly teased a nipple, thrilled to feel Light tremble and gasp at his touch. Pulling his mouth away slowly, L let his hands slide down Light’s firm body and under the button and zipper restraining Light’s throbbing hard on. Once free, it seemingly sprang forward, pulsing and red with a need to be touched, sucked, fucked, _something!_ L grinned down at it. Light was well hung but not overly so, which meant sex could be fun without being painful. 

Getting down on his knees, L parted Light’s legs and placed his mouth on Light’s cock. Light gasped and clutched the sheets. The moment L sucked him down, Light came immediately. Not expecting it, L gagged a bit on his come, pulling away and landing on his butt as he laughed and wiped his mouth. “I’m sorry!” Light exclaimed, embarrassed. 

“It’s fine,” L said as he stood again. “We’ll just have to get you hard again is all.”

Light gulped. He’d never seen L look this way before. He almost seemed predatory as he neared Light, running long, thin fingers through his hair as he leaned in and kissed Light again. L’s tongue painted the inside of Light’s mouth and then left it to trail down his jaw and neck, landing on his ear lobe to tease it. L climbed into Light’s lap as he kissed, nipped, and licked his boyfriends stunning golden skin and began to grind his erection on Light’s flaccid penis. L began breathing harder as the intensity grew and he pressed his forehead into Light’s shoulder. Light placed his hand between them and pressed their erections together, his erection now returning with the added friction and overwhelmingly hot way L rode and kissed him.

“ Gonna ...come...” L panted out quietly in Light’s ear as his body moved back and forth on Light’s lap. Light held L to him, L’s body slick with sweat from the effort. Suddenly, L cocked his head back and cried out, his body going rigid as he came between them.

Light watched on with awe and wonder on his face. He’d never seen another person orgasm before. Taking advantage of the exposed skin before him, Light leaned forward and kissed L’s neck gently. L wrapped sticky, sweaty fingers around Light’s neck and closed his eyes as Light trailed kisses up his neck toward his mouth. It was a heavenly feeling. They both knew they’d have to clean up their mess eventually, but for the moment they seemed perfectly content.

Light laid back onto the bed, pulling L with him. They laid together a moment, kissing each other sweetly.  “Do you want to do more?” L asked, curious if Light felt like his erection was a problem to solve.

“Not yet,” Light whispered, pushing dark bangs from beautiful eyes, “I just want to enjoy being with you for a moment.”

L's smile widened as he pulled himself up Light’s chest and kissed him passionately. Nobody had ever just wanted to be with him before. They always wanted their orgasm, their pleasure. They wanted to take his and get theirs and pay and go.  _ So this is love,  _ L thought.  _ I like it. _


	11. No Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys become lovers and L doesn't show up for dinner, worrying Light.

It would take all night for the boys to well and truly get to know each other in the way they wanted. L learned he was allowed to have preferences, allowed to say no. Light studied L's response to every touch, every kiss, and filed it away in his mind for a later time. Light knew L had many lovers, but he wanted to be the best L ever experienced. He wanted to be the reason L screamed as he came and his toes curled and back arched and vision went blurry. It wasn’t good enough to just have sex. Oh no, Light wanted to ruin him for anyone else. 

  
As the first bit of sunlight peaked over the horizon, the two lovers lay naked and sweat covered, trying to catch their breath. They knew they'd be dragging ass in class and they didn't care at all. To hell with school, Light thought. He'd just experienced the life altering thrill of penetrative sex and would never be the same. There was something about the feeling of L’s tight, hot body squeezing all around him that made him shiver just thinking about it. There would never be anything better than sex with L, Light decided.

  
Now feeling cold as the sweat chilled his body, Light rolled toward L and pulled him into his chest. L smelled of sex and sweat and something else and Light had never breathed in a more wonderful scent in his life. “I love you,” Light whispered into dark, messy hair.

  
The vibrations of Light's voice tickled and L smiled, eyes closed, as he felt Light's body press against him. Even now, as Light's flaccid cock pressed against his ass he could feel the familiar tingle of desire stir inside his belly. He'd never wanted sex with someone in the way he wanted it with Light. Never desired to be touched like he did now. Sex had gone from a dreaded necessity to insatiable desire. Having Light inside him had been so wonderfully fulfilling, and he felt the loss even now when it was long over. Daydreams of the next time Light would plunge himself inside of L consumed L’s sleepy thoughts. The feeling of Light burying himself to his balls, their bodies flush against each other had L bothered and his genitals stirring with the desire to go again.

  
And they would go again. L would wake Light up with slow but firm strokes of his hands squeezing their penises together. Once awake, Light couldn't help the buck of his hips or his desire to be back inside his lover. Light kneaded L’s abused ass cheeks as L’s hands worked to bring him to full attention.   
Once he was hard, Light dipped below the blanket and pushed L’s cheeks apart. His tongue flicked and licked L’s worn entrance, soothing the stretched, aching, swollen skin. L trembled at every pass of Light's tongue in and out of his body, unaware of anything besides the glorious pleasure building between his legs.

  
Light popped up briefly to generously lube himself and L gently sliding back inside that perfect sheath. “Ah, oh god, Light!” L hissed as he felt his body stretch around Light's erection. 

  
Feeling L adjust to him, Light covered L’s body with his own, kissing him sweetly as his hips began their rhythmic swing. In and out, back and forth, slow and steady. Right then wasn't about getting off. It wasn't about reaching orgasm, though that would inevitably come. It was about connection, and the way Light held L as he rocked them toward the stratosphere. L clutched at Light's back and buried his face in his shoulder as he cried. Light didn't worry or stop. Instead, he held L tighter to him, kissing him everywhere he could reach, whispering a thousand I love you’s as L crumbled to pieces for all the ways Light loved him. Light reached parts of L’s soul that had been closed off for years. Places he didn’t even know about. And with that single loving touch, he shattered everything that L had built to protect himself and left him bare before Light, naked, vulnerable, and wholly loved for the first time in his life.

  
The boys would end up skipping class, but nobody would say a thing. After all, the two of them had been through a lot. A couple students kindly offered copies of their notes and relayed homework assignments. Light and L were grateful if a bit surprised. It seemed they were both well respected in school even if neither of them heavily socialized or were close to anyone besides each other. 

  
In the following days the boys fell back into a good routine with attending class, studying, and fucking every second in between. They had a hard time keeping their hands off each other and concentrating in class while separated. Light even felt his drive to kill diminish slightly. It hadn’t altogether gone away, but it had certainly taken a backseat to fucking L. 

  
By Friday Light was tired more from the endless sex than anything else. He didn't let that stop him from fantasizing about what he wanted to do to L that night, however. He smiled and hummed to himself as he cooked the pasta and baked the garlic bread for the spaghetti and meatballs Light had planned for dinner. He checked his phone as he set the table, noticing that L was running a little late. It was unusual for L to be late and he hadn't said he made any plans after class. Light tried to remember if there was something he was missing.

  
Once the food was on the table and L still hadn't showed up, Light began to worry. He shot L a text but got no answer. Calling L was of no use either. Thoroughly freaked out now, Light left the dorm in a hurry to go track L down.


	12. Into the Flames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light finds L but he's near death. Will this event push Light over his homicidal ledge?

Homophobia. Something about the word never did sit right with Light. Then again, maybe it was a good thing he was bothered by it. Homophobia was abhorrent, much like the kids who were currently spitting vitriol at Matt and L. Harsh and hateful words soon escalated to an all out brawl. Then someone pulled a knife. The distant crowd of students who had gathered to watch the fight now gasped and either ran or hid behind one of the many trees there in the courtyard. Not a single one of them thought to run for help.

  
It wouldn't be long before Light found himself cradling L as he bled out on the grass, and began screaming insanely for help. How could this happen at a progressive school that didn't allow weapons? How did a gang of disgusting young men even get into such an exclusive school? That didn't matter at the moment. Looking down at L, Light's racing mind couldn't seem to grip a single thought. All he saw was blood everywhere. It was on his hands, smeared on his cheek where L had reached up to touch him, pooling on the white shirt L wore. Matt was somewhere in the background yelling, “Keep pressure on the wound!” Was that a siren in the distance? Everything was blurry. 

  
A firm hand gripped Light's shoulder and he jumped. Watari smiled apologetically. “The ambulance is here to take L to the hospital now. “

  
The words didn't register with Light, who gripped L tighter, the other boy moaning in pain from the movement. Protectively, Light leaned over L, snarling at anyone who tried to come close. A voice he didn't recognize began trying to reason with him. “We’re here to help, Light. He's going to die if we don't take him. You can ride with him in the back.“

  
Eventually Light loosed his grip on L and the limp, pale body rolled into the hands of the emergency team. It felt like a dream, a nightmare as Light was ushered toward the flashing lights and loud sirens. L looked dead laying there strapped to a gurney with an oxygen mask. His lips had this strange purple tint and Light wondered if this was how he would pay for his sins. Was God taking away the only thing he ever loved because of his disobedience? I _'ll never do it again, God. Just please don't let him die. I'll be your faithful servant, your warrior. I'll bring your justice to all the land. I won't stop until every mouth utters your praise. Please…please save him._

  
Silent prayers would flow through Light as he held L's cold hand until they arrived at the Emergency room. Light would be ushered into a bathroom where he washed up and changed into a cloth gown. Upon exiting the bathroom he was asked to consent to a blood draw since he had been exposed to L's blood. He consented, watching as the tiny needle was gently pressed into his skin. Light didn't flinch. Needles never did bother him. “Can I see him?”

  
“Once he's out of surgery and in a room you can. “ The nurse was nice, smiling slightly as she bandaged the needle prick and packed up her supplies. She removed her gloves after disposing of everything in the sharps container, then escorted Light to the waiting room. 

  
That's where he’d see Matt sporting a black eye. “Any news?”

  
“No. What happened?” Light asked. 

  
“Those dickheads were targeting me because of Mello. Mello got mixed up with them over a bad drug deal and so they were trying to send a message through me. L came to my defense and you showed up when it all got ugly. “

  
 _Fucking Mello._ Light didn't know the kid well but knew enough to not care for him. Mello was one wrong move away from permanent expulsion, and if this incident traced back to him he'd probably serve some jail time. Mello was effectively on Light's hit list, his only saving grace being Matt, who had tried to help L. _No, that kid is gonna die. It's his fault L and I are in this situation. Fuck him. Matt deserves better anyway_. 

  
Light had already planned on killing the kid who stabbed L. The only problem was he was currently in police custody. It was only a matter of time before the police showed up and questioned him and Matt as well. It seemed like Light just couldn't stay off the police radar no matter what he tried. At least he wasn't being investigated for murder again. 

  
Just as predicted, a couple officers came and took statements from both boys. Light didn't expose Mello's role in all that happened, but that wasn't to be helpful. It was so Light could kill him. The more Light thought about it, the more he seethed. He’d burn the whole school down with everyone in it if L died. 

  
Thankfully L wouldn't die, however. He'd wake up from surgery in pain but alive, Light by his side. Relief washed over Light as he held L's hand and made promises L knew he couldn't keep. “I'll never let anyone hurt you again. “ L just nodded, knowing it was impossible. As long as he lived, people would hurt him. That's just how things were. 

  
Recovery would be surprisingly quick for L. He'd be released from the hospital and back to his dorm where Light waited on him hand and foot. It was strange to L, having someone feed him and help carry him to the bathroom and to make sure he was comfortable. Light kept L on a tight pain killer regimen and checked his wounds frequently for heat, redness, or swelling like the discharge papers instructed. 

  
“I made you peaches and cream oatmeal. It's extra sweet, “ Light said as he approached L with the bowl, a bit of steam gently rolling off the top. 

  
“Why are you doing all this for me?” L asked with a wince as he tried to sit up so he could eat. 

  
A look of confusion swept across Light's face as he sat on the bed, ready to spoon feed L if need be. “Because I love you. “ To Light it was simple, obvious. This is what it meant to love somebody. 

  
“Oh,” L had heard Light say it many times now, had felt strong emotions pour over him when they made love, but he didn't realize the love extended beyond the bed. For L, the only thing he had to offer was his body, and the body was all he knew how to accept. There was so much to love that he didn't know, so much he still couldn't feel or understand. Yet as he accepted the oatmeal from the only real thing he'd ever known, L realized he wouldn't remain in the dark for much longer if Light continued to love him like this. 

  
That night, like every night, Light laid delicately next to L so the nightmares stayed away. Light had been concerned this most recent trauma would cause L to have a multitude of bad dreams, but so far the messy haired boy next to him slept soundly in his arms. He was beautiful, and Light carefully studied L's youthful face, memorizing every last strand of hair, every freckle, every scar. He kissed pale skin and silently prayed they'd make it to a day where Light could count the grey in that hair and the wrinkles on that skin. He worried about them making it to a grey old age, but he hoped for it all the same. 

  
“Would you still love me if you truly knew who I was?” Light whispered into the night. He knew nobody would understand his calling, his need to kill. Because of that, he also knew the day may come where he had to give L up because of it. “I'll never stop loving you, L. One day you'll know your worth. One day you'll stop giving yourself away. Even if we can't be together, I'll make sure you know.” Light nuzzled L's hair, breathing him in as he closed his eyes and wished for sleep. 

  
When it didn’t come, Light slid from the bed and began planning the end of all the people who made themselves his enemy. He shot Mello a text to meet him about buying some Adderall for the upcoming midterms and the idiot was more than eager to meet despite all that had happened. It turned out Mello had a secret thing for Light and Light wouldn't hesitate to use that to his advantage. 


	13. Say Bye to Mello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light carries out his plans and Matt is suspicious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a big fan of Matt and Mello but yeah I'm offing them so...

There was nothing hotter than being pressed against a hard wall by the guy he'd been secretly crushing on for weeks. Mello let out a shuddering breath and didn't resist Light's grip on him. It was everything he could've ever dreamed, and when Light leaned in, all grit teeth and rage, Mello wondered how bad it would hurt when Light beat him for trying to kiss him. It was worth a shot in Mello's opinion, so he launched his needy mouth against Light’s, reaching for all he was worth, trying to drink in the heavenly taste of Light Yagami. 

  
It didn't surprise Light that Mello misread the situation quite horribly, but it did disgust him. The shock and hurt on Mello's face when Light pulled away and spat on him was nothing compared to the anguish on it when Mello realized he'd been stabbed. Covering Mello's mouth with his free hand, Light helped Mello sink softly to the ground. “Sh, now. That's it. Good Mello. We don't want to scream now do we?”

  
Mello did little more than grunt as he crumpled on the ground in a slump. He never imagined he'd die in a back alley on the wrong side of town, alone and in silence. For some reason he thought he'd go down guns blazing in some kind of turf war. He peered up at Light, not recognizing the smug, satisfied look on his face. Light had always looked so regal, so calm and beautiful. He was the picture of evil in that moment, and Mello hated it. That wasn't the Light Yagami he wanted. It wasn't the Light Yagami he jerked off to or envisioned when Matt fucked him. No, this was someone else entirely and Mello would die with the bitter taste of disappointment on his tongue. 

  
Light tossed the knife in the river that flowed through the city and casually made his way back to the dorm. He'd taken Mello's cell phone, wallet, and keys. It wouldn't be long before he contacted Mello's associates and planned to knock them off one by one. Mello was too stupid to use burner phones or delete his conversations and Light was glad for such stupidity this once. Light knew he couldn't keep the phone long and made sure to dispose of it before he got home.

  
The thrill of the kill wore off by the time Light returned and he yawned tiredly. The high was always fleeting and was never quite enough. Looking down at L, Light climbed over his lover gingerly and kissed his cheek as he settled beneath the covers. Snuggling up against L after a long night of killing was perfection. Nothing could be better than that moment.

  
Both boys would be woken suddenly by frantic banging on their door. Light sluggishly opened it, feeling grumpy and irritated. A red faced Matt plowed through him the moment the door opened, sobbing and yelling so incoherently that neither Light nor L understood anything he said. 

  
“Breathe Matt. We can't help you if we don't know what's going on, “ Light said calmly as he closed the door and turned to place two firm hands on either shoulder. 

  
Matt gulped and wiped his eyes. “He's dead. He's dead you guys! He's dead!” Matt lost all composure again and collapsed into Light’s arms.

  
Light and L exchanged looks as L painfully tried to sit up. He felt utterly useless. He could hardly walk much less comfort his friend. “Who’s dead, Matt?” L asked, afraid he already knew the answer. 

  
“M-m-m-m- Mello,” he managed, pushing himself off Light and instead collapsing in a nearby chair. 

  
“Light, why don't you make us some tea?” L suggested from the edge of the bed. It was rare for him to directly ask for anything, but at least he found he no longer felt awkward asking for things. No longer felt like he wasn't worth someone else’s time. At least with Light he felt worth something. 

  
“Oh. Right, yes, “ Light hurried over to the kettle, glad that L gave him something else to focus on besides the annoying aftermath of all his fun and revenge. 

  
With help from Matt, L had made it to the table by the time Light came over with chamomile and biscuits. He smiled softly as he recalled the friendly spat he and Light had over whether they were called cookies or biscuits. It ended in tickle torture on the bed, Light's nimble fingers finding their way beneath L's oversized sweatshirt as it rode up his abdomen and exposed his perfect skin. Light had stopped to admire the sexy picture before him and at the time it had confused L. He thought he'd done something wrong but Light was quick to reassure him otherwise. Light kissed and cuddled L, not even attempting to take things further even though L imagined that must’ve been difficult for him. L had been really struggling that particular day and just wasn't up for sex. Somehow Light just instinctively knew that. 

  
L's sweet thoughts were interrupted by Matt explaining what he knew about Mello's death. “It looked like a mugging but Mello was stabbed in the exact spot you were, “ he said to L.

  
“Do you think it was the same person who stabbed me?” L asked, wide eyed as he subconsciously placed a hand over his wound. 

  
“No, they're in custody, “ Light reminded. “Perhaps it was someone getting revenge on your behalf, L.”

  
“Who besides you would want revenge? And you wouldn't do something like that. Plus you were with me all last night, “ L rationalized. 

  
“We are both well respected at this school, L. It wouldn't surprise me, “ Light said. 

  
Matt watched closely as Light spoke, noticing that he wasn't in the least bit shaken by this news. Light also almost quirked the corners of his lips up in a sort of smile you'd see on someone gloating about whatever obscene thing they'd accomplished. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Light was the one who did it. Matt swallowed thickly, catching the way Light looked at him as he offered another cup of tea. He was taunting Matt, basically saying _what are you going to do about it? Nobody will ever believe you._

  
Not to be underestimated, Matt accepted the second cup, and without looking away from Light, said, “I don't know, L. If I knew who was responsible for Mello's death I wouldn't hesitate to kill the son of a bitch with my bare hands. I'm not trying to speak   
for Light but I can't imagine he didn't feel similarly when you were stabbed. “

  
Light sighed casually and leaned back in his chair, looking down before looking back up at L and then Matt, “I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the same. “

  
“But of the two of us, you actually have killed someone before, “ Matt said coolly. 

  
“Hey now, that was different, “ L started to say before Light interjected. 

  
“Why don't you just come out and say it, Matt. You think I did it, don't you?” Light asked, infuriatingly calm. 

  
“It doesn't matter what I think, “ Matt said as he stood to go. “Thank you for the tea. “

  
L sat in silent shock as Matt let himself out. Did he really just accuse Light of murder? “I need to lie down, “ L whispered to Light, suddenly exhausted. 

  
“Please don't let what he said bother you, “ Light said as he stood to help L from his chair. “He's just upset. It's understandable.”

  
L held onto Light as he slowly sat on the bed. “I won't. I know the rumors that go around school about me. Despite the amount of students who respect us and appreciate what an excellent class president you are, we have enemies. At least, I do. I don't let that bother me, but if they started talking about you that way because of Matt… I would be infuriated. “

  
As disgusting as it was, there were students who spread lies about L sleeping around or doing sexual favors for good grades. It all started after the incident with Aiber and the kind of relationship they had was somehow leaked. It was a huge source of gossip and a humiliating time for L. It had passed for the most part, however, because more people saw him as a survivor than anything. Had Light not been there for him he wasn't sure he'd have gotten through. 

  
Light gently kissed L on the lips, both hands cupping his delicate face. “As long as I have your love, what they say about me will never matter. “

  
“You'll always have my love. No matter what, “ L said as he gazed lovingly up at Light. 

  
Light smiled and tried to hide the fear he felt stabbing him in the gut to wonder if what L said was really true. 


	14. Driving Wedges

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mello's funeral.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ho! I am sleep deprived and silly so I hope this chapter makes sense lmao. It took me so many days to write it. I'm so tired. Enjoy!

Matt was somewhat surprised to see L at the funeral and even more shocked that Light attended. He seethed as he watched Light shake the hands and hug those around him as though he really cared. Matt had to physically stop himself from rolling his eyes as he heard Light explain how he was working closely with the school staff to keep the students safe. Pathetic, limping L just added to his aesthetic. It occurred to Matt to avoid them, but perhaps presenting himself as a challenge would be better. Light seemed to think there was no one on his level and Matt was quite ready to knock him off that pedestal. 

“ You clean up well for a snake, “ Matt said casually as he approached, just loud enough for Light and L to hear . 

“Excuse me?” L said, anger rising. Light gently squeezed his hand.  _ Let it go.  _ L kept silent but glared at Matt. 

“ I’m just joking around. You know how they say all politicians are snakes. Sorry if it seemed out of line. I haven't been myself lately. “  The inflection in Matt's voice was lacking any sincerity at all.  He _ almost _ smirked as he said it, as though saying  _ I can blame anything I say or do on my grief and make you look bad in the process while gaining sympathy for myself. Try me. _

“ Ah yes, I'm a regular cobra,” Light said as he closed the distance between himself and Matt.  “Or perhaps some kind of  constrictor?” Light had to fight the urge to lick his lips as he stared at Matt’s neck and envisioned strangling him.  Then his face softened as he locked eyes with Matt. “Snakes don't bite if you leave them alone, though.”

“Good point. On that note, if you'll excuse me I have more people to talk to. “  Matt  said as he  brushed by Light and L.

“What the hell was that about?” L asked Light, studying his face as he tried to figure out what that unfamiliar glimmer in his eyes and smirk was about. 

Light smiled phonily at L and kissed his forehead. “ We’ll talk about it later. “

“Okay, “ L sighed.  Pulling free from Light’s embrace, L glanced around the room. He'd never been to a funeral before. It was boring but he figured it wasn't exactly supposed to be  exciting.  When Scarlett died her body was taken away and he didn't know what  happened to her. She didn't make any plans because she didn't want to waste any money burying a body she’d spent her life destroying. L supposed that made sense and that she was cremated and her ashes  disposed of. She'd want it that way. Her body was something she wanted to be free of and she finally was. 

L found himself limping to the bathroom, insisting to Light that  he’d be just fine on his own. The effort was exhausting, but he was glad he could at least take a piss without help.  While washing his hands, L saw  Matt in the reflection of the mirror and half heartedly smiled at his friend. 

Matt shook his head as he washed his hands. “I just don't get why you're with that guy. I can't stand seeing how he uses you. It makes me so mad, man. You deserve better. “

L felt crushed and startled and many things at once as he froze and tried to find something to say. “You think he's using me?”  _ He wouldn't be the first… _

“Isn't it obvious?  Parading you around here like he's your hero when you should be resting. “ Matt dried his hands and shrugged. 

L felt a hint of relief as he corrected Matt, “ Oh no, I made him come. He actually fought me a bit. But you're my friend and  I felt strongly about this. ”

“Oh, “ Matt felt like a bit of a tool but it didn't deter him. “Just be careful.  I don't trust that guy.”

“Thank you for caring,  “ L smiled awkwardly and tried to hurry out of the bathroom and situation. His body failed him, of course, and the awkwardness lingered as Matt held the door for him and he limped on by. When L scanned the room searching for Light, he couldn’t place exactly why his heart sank a little and his stomach twisted in knots when they saw each other. Light smiled and hurried over to help him like the fabulous boyfriend he was, but Matt had planted the seeds of doubt. 

“You look beat. Are you ready to go?” Light asked, hopeful that L’s little act of independence wore him out enough to give up on paying his respects.

“Yes,” L sighed heavily. This was the most he’d moved around since leaving the hospital and it was quickly becoming too much.

An Uber was pulled up to the curb rather quickly, making L wonder if Light had ordered it while he was in the bathroom, assuming L would want to leave. Maybe Light knew L that well after all, or maybe he was just manipulative as fuck. L couldn’t decide if he was just tired or upset from the funeral or if Matt’s words were getting to him. Perhaps it was a mix of thing. “Hey,” Light’s soft voice and gentle touch of his hand over L’s pulled L’s eyes from the window to look over at Light. “What’s wrong?”

L tried to relax his face and hide anything he might be portraying, but he wasn’t as good at that as Light was. “I just think I’m tired.”

“Okay. I’ll make you tea when we get back to the dorm and put on a movie for you to fall asleep to, okay?” L always seemed to sleep better if they snuggled together with chamomile and a benign, familiar movie gently rocked L to sleep, filling his head with nonsense instead of fear.

Like some kind of childish idiot, L embarrassingly burst into tears. He caught the driver glancing at them in his rear view and it made him cry all the harder. Light didn’t ask what was wrong. They’d just come from a funeral. L was exhausted. And Light was pretty sure Matt had said something to upset L in the bathroom. As Light enveloped L lovingly in the back of the car, murderous thoughts raced through his mind. First, however, he’d rather enjoy toying with his prey.


	15. Never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some mushy stuff. L and Light navigate the aftermath of what was said at the funeral while Matt remembers Mello.

Tight cuffs rubbed a red ring around Matt’s wrists as he was escorted from the dorms by police officers. Instinctively, he hunched as he walked, looking down in embarrassment. Every available student stood in their doorway, shocked faces and hands flying over gasping mouths. Matt knew better than to look up. Knew better than to raise his gaze to the golden eyes boring down upon him in smug victory. But he did it anyway, his look defiant, saying, _I'll be back. This isn't over._

  
It took all his strength not to smile wide or laugh hysterically. Light breathed deep, calming himself. He knew what Matt's look meant and he agreed. It wasn't over until _he_ said it was. 

  
Once the parade turned down the hall and out of sight, Light closed the door and returned to L, who was still sleeping soundly in their bed. He'd been sleeping a lot, his body doing its best to recover. Light gently snuck over L, the mattress giving quietly as he crawled back under the covers. His arms and legs entangled themselves with L's warm body, a tingling sensation flowing through Light and calling him into relaxation and coziness. He kissed the back of L's head as he breathed him in. 

  
In Light’s mind, Matt was one of many people who needed to go in order for L to truly be safe and happy. That asshole had successfully caused a rift to form between he and L, and it made Light seethe. L had tearfully confessed what happened in the bathroom between he and Matt the night of the funeral. No convincing from Light was going to make L feel secure in their relationship again. Only time could do that. 

  
Light squeezed his eyes shut as he tightened his arms around L. L shifted, waking and rolling toward Light. It took a moment for his grogginess to leave him, but when it did, L softly stroked his hand across Light's face. “Why are you so upset?”

  
The question was soft and loving and Light gulped before he answered, “You know why. “

  
L kissed Light tenderly on his lips, pulled back, and continued moving his fingers through Light’s hair. “We will be okay. I know you love me. I am terrified of my feelings for you sometimes, Light. It's like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like I'm waiting for this all to be a farse.”

  
Light never wanted to confess to all his crimes so bad in his life. He held L against him as he quietly cried, L comforting him by running his fingernails gently up and down Light’s back. Eventually Light fell asleep, L watching over him and wondering what was going on in that brilliant mind. 

  
L had been surprised by Light's initial reaction the night of the funeral. Sure, Light was angry with Matt, but he was hurt that L's trust in him was shaken. It had been painful to see the wounded look in Light's eyes and L knew then that Light’s love for him was genuine and deep. It would take time for the feelings to pass and for them to be okay again, but they were well on their way. 

  
***

  
Matt sighed and winced as he rubbed his sore wrists. What he wouldn't give for a cigarette. The police left him alone for now and his thoughts drifted to Mello. _You fucking bastard,_ he thought affectionately. _I'm never gonna get over you._

  
They had met when they first came to this school as much younger children. Matt had laughed at Mello for crying because he missed his mommy. They'd both been sent off by their well to do family because of their bad behavior. Matt had taken apart the family cars engine but got caught before he could put it back together. Something about children shouldn't touch hundred thousand dollar vehicles or some shit. 

  
Mello had well and truly embarrassed his family by getting kicked out of every prestigious private school by age 10. He'd punched a foreign diplomats kid in the face and the next thing he knew, he was at WAM. 

  
Not only did Matt dodge Mello's punch, but he somehow managed to get Mello in a headlock. Nobody had ever done that before. It took Mello by surprise and he went from crying to enraged. He screamed and flailed and became so red in the face he almost took on a purple tint. Matt laughed all the harder, finally letting Mello go simply because he couldn't control himself any longer due to how hard he was laughing. 

  
Somehow that incident led them to being best friends, skipping class together and pulling pranks on the other students. Matt still remembers the blush on Mello's cheeks and nose the first time they'd kissed. They had been hiding from their teacher in one of the big oak trees, snickering as they watched her walk by. The timing just felt right, somehow. 

  
After that day, they both knew there was no turning back. Matt knew a side to Mello that nobody else would ever see. It was the real Mello. The Mello that cried during sad movies and held onto the broken body of a little black snake that had gotten run over as he sobbed. Matt had to pick him up and put him back together so many times. Mello was brash and impulsive, defensive and sometimes mean. But when it was quiet and no one else was around, that’s when the real Mello came out, and that's who Matt fell in love with. 

  
The real Mello cried the first time they had sex. He was embarrassed because of his burn scars from an accident as a young child, but Matt kissed his mottled skin so lovingly that Mello fell to pieces. 

  
“Please don't ever leave me, “ Mello whispered as he laid across Matt’s chest. 

  
“Never, “ Matt whispered back. 

  
Now, as he sat awaiting his fate, Matt wondered if he had asked the same of Mello, would he be here today?


	16. Check and Checkmate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The game is getting more intense between Light and Matt.

Matt had returned from a long day of being harassed by police and meeting with his attorney only to find he'd been kicked out of school. The lock on his dorm was changed and a notice on the door instructed him to contact the headmaster to retrieve his things once the investigation was over and evidence could be released. Embarrassed, afraid, and angry, Matt crumpled the notice and made his way to the auditorium instead. Light was giving a speech today and with any luck, it would be his last. 

  
“You son of a bitch!” Matt had _had_ it. Usually he wasn't the type to have outbursts. Matt wasn't inherently violent. The moment he saw Light, however, any and all reason went out the window. He tackled Light to the floor of the stage with everything he had in him. The audacity of that smug bastard standing there in his khakis and matching blazer and red tie, looking so perfect like he didn't run around killing people. It caused Matt’s blood to boil over. There was no stopping him, no reasoning with him. He simply wanted to punch in that disgustingly arrogant face until it was unrecognizable. 

  
“You! Ruined! My! Life!” Matt screamed, each word punctuated by another harsh fist to Light's face. 

  
It honestly took Light by surprise, but he was quick to defend himself, throwing his hands up protectively as he fell on his back and attempted to kick up and hopefully roll Matt off of him. Matt stuck like glue, holding himself down upon Light with his legs. 

  
L felt helpless as he bolted forward only to be caught breathless by pain and collapse to his knees, holding his side. His stitches had torn. _Fuck_. 

  
Several students and faculty climbed the stage to pull Matt off Light, but not before Light was given a bloody nose and black eye. Matt’s face was wild with glee. Light wasn't so pretty anymore. At least until he healed. “This look suits you better,” Matt panted, surprisingly calm as strong hands gripped each shoulder and held him back from Light. 

  
Light peered through swollen eyes, his hand holding a cloth to his nose that someone had given him. He shoed everyone away and stood, facing Matt. Lowering the cloth, he said, “I don't know what it is you have against me, but I forgive you for this assault. I won't press charges if you promise to get help, Matt. “

  
Matt screamed and lunged forward, clawing at the air. The hands holding him back were too strong, so Matt spit on Light, the wad of saliva landing square on his face. “Fuck you, Yagami!”

  
Light wiped his face and grimaced in disgust. “Take him away!”

  
Some bystanders had helped L into a chair and he was checking his stitches when Light came over and knelt by him. Light had seemed unphased until that moment. Seeing blood seep through L's shirt caused him to panic even though L was okay. “Look at me, Light. I'm fine. It's superficial. “

  
Swollen, purple eyes did their best to lock with L's. The pain could be ignored as long as L needed him. Even though it was a small reopening and very little blood, Light felt pulled back into that place of horror, holding L as he bled out. It wasn’t until L's soft hand touched his cheek that he was pulled back to reality. “Let's go home, “ L said softly. 

  
Light agreed, his only solace was in knowing Matt would have additional charges pressed against him on top of the drug charges he was already facing. The guy could be facing prison time and Light couldn't be happier despite the pain he was in. Small price to pay. And the drugs he laced so they killed Matt’s customers? Child’s play. Sure, Matt’s overpaid grease ball lawyer got him off on bail, but that wouldn't last forever. 

  
The school would have to reschedule the assembly and Light would have to save his speech for another day. It was all so boring anyway. The only interesting thing in his life was L. As they slowly made their way back to their dorm, Light tried not to worry about the kid limping beside him. They'd already been through a lot together, already faced the test of someone trying to tear them apart. Light was pretty sure he'd die if something ever happened to L. Pretty sure he'd never recover.

  
Once back in the comfort of their dorm, Light helped L undress and get into bed. He made L his customary cup of tea and climbed into bed next to him. L leaned against Light as Light searched for a suitable movie. It was all so domestic and normal and somehow comforting. He knew he wanted that with L. He wanted a normal life with a career and a house. He also knew he couldn't stop killing, and he tried not to worry about L finding out the truth one day. 

  
Across town, Matt sat once again in a familiar jail cell, staring at the concrete floor. A tap on the bars got his attention and he looked up into the eyes of a man he hadn't met before. “Hi, “ the man said, kind in the way police often are when they want something from you. “I'm detective Aizawa, and I'm investigating Light Yagami. Do you have a moment to answer some questions?”

  
A devilish grin stretched across Matt’s face. “I have nothing but time. Ask away, sir.”


	17. Killing Strangers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit gets graphic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my busy season so I haven't been posting at much as I want. That being said, I've had a ton of anxiety lately and today would've been my wedding anniversary. I'm just glad it's over. Here's an extra chapter just because.

**We need to talk.** That was all the text said and L had a sinking feeling as he typed a quick reply to Matt. **Light won't be back for another hour if you want to stop by.**

  
L paced slowly as he waited. He'd been healing well and could walk further and without assistance, though he still needed to be careful about his stitches. He held one hand protectively over his wound as he hobbled nervously about the kitchen area of their little dorm. Whenever anxiety struck he often cleaned. It was a learned behavior because whenever he got in trouble with Scarlett if he cleaned the apartment really well she'd go easier on him. 

  
Isopropyl alcohol stank terribly but it cleaned the mini white board on the fridge well and was cheap. He'd just set the open container on the counter when there was a knock at the door. “Come in!” L shouted over his shoulder. He couldn't tear himself away from his task to save his life. 

  
“Hey, “ Matt sounded glum as he let himself in and walked into the kitchen area, leaning against the counter to L's left. “I thought you deserved for me to tell you in person that I'm turning your boyfriend in to the police for murder. I've already spoken with a detective. There's still an open investigation against him for the murder of Misa Amane as well, so I don't think this bodes well for him. “

  
“I see, “ L said as he took the alcohol and squirted a bit on his rag. “Thank you for telling me. “

  
“Well, I consider you a friend so I thought you should know. “ Matt said, arms crossed as he remained leaning against the counter. 

  
L stood, making a life changing decision in less than one second. He lifted the Isopropyl alcohol so swiftly that Matt didn't even have time to react. Squeezing the bottle as hard as he could, L squirted it into Matt’s eyes. Matt screamed and lurched over, rubbing his eyes. L then reached for the knives in the butcher block on the counter, pulling a long steak knife out and stabbing Matt in the side of his neck as hard as he could. Matt jerked away, and L withdrew the knife, blood spurting everywhere, a stream of blood cascading upon L's face and body. 

  
It wasn't like the movies where people seemed to die so easily, L was finding. Matt stumbled toward the door, blind and with blood shooting everywhere as he cried out for help. L realized he needed to do something about the screaming, and as he approached Matt he turned to his Google speaker and said, “Hey Google, play Killing Strangers with the volume at 100%.”

  
As the music blasted throughout the room, L tackled Matt to the ground and stabbed him several more times. Matt thrashed violently, trying to scream, but only gurgles of blood foamed up from his mouth. Somehow he managed to jab L in his stitches, knocking the wind out of L and sending him straight to the ground. With one hand on his neck and the other in front of him feeling for a wall, Matt stumbled toward. L recovered quickly and leapt onto Matt’s back, stabbing him repeatedly in the back and shoulders and neck. 

  
L was exhausted and shaking and covered in blood. _Fuck_ , he thought as he came to his senses above the body that had finally stopped moving. The apartment was trashed. Blood covered the walls and furniture. How the fuck was he going to clean all this up?

  
L was so busy looking around at the mess he made that he didn't even notice Light had walked in. He was still holding the knife when he looked up at Light and said, “I think I need your help. “

  
Without missing a beat, Light said, “I think you do too.” His wheels turned quickly as he looked around. “Turn the oven on to 450 and leave it. Turn the stove on high as well and place a pan on it with some oil in it and leave it. Go take a shower after that and put on clean clothes. Carry some clean shoes to the door with you so when we leave you track nothing out.”

  
L nodded and dropped the knife as he began doing everything Light said to do. It didn't take long for a grease fire to start and both boys stepped out their door and L put on his shoes and they casually walked down the hall like nothing had happened at all. L squeezed Light’s hand, nervously hoping this plan worked and the fire burned enough of the building down before the fire department was able to put it out so that no evidence was left. 

  
Once outside, Light smiled at L. “Hungry?”

  
“Yeah, but shouldn't we stay and make sure it burns?”

  
“No. That's suspicious. If they figure out the fire started in the kitchen, it's reasonable to say you burned dinner so I took you out for burgers but neither of us realized you left the stove on. “

  
“Oh, “ L's eyes widened as he touched his thumb to his lip. Light's plan was really quite good. 

  
They found themselves enjoying strawberry milkshakes at a local diner most of the kids from school frequented. It was walking distance from the school and had good, cheap food. Their burgers had come and L was dipping a French fry in ketchup when he finally said, “You don’t seem bothered at all by what I did. “

  
“I'm not, “ Light said. “Are you bothered by it?”

  
“Surprisingly no. I really thought I would be crying in the shower or something but honestly I just don't care. “

  
Light chuckled a bit and reached across the table for L's hand. “You know I-"

  
“Don't say it. Not here. Besides I already know, “ L said, a soft look in his eyes. “I've known for a while. “

  
Tears filled Light's eyes, “Really? I don't know what to say. I have been agonizing over you not knowing. I thought you'd leave me if you found out. “

  
It was L's turn to chuckle. “You're the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm the happiest I've ever been. Why would I leave you?” After the life L had endured at the hands of others, he didn't see people as sentient beings that shouldn't be murdered. So far everyone Light killed had fucking deserved it. “Let's eat so we can go somewhere and talk in private.” 

  
Light had never inhaled a burger so fast in his life. 

  
Their plan had worked a little too well. Most of the building had burned to the ground and several students were injured and many more had died. “Oops,” L said, trying not to laugh. _Wow I'm really some sort of sicko aren't I?_

  
It didn't sit well with Light that students who may have not deserved God ‘s wrath died, but he'd do it again to save L. Besides, most people were scum anyway so he doubted anyone righteous was killed in the fire anyway. Light shrugged as he looked over at L. The look on L's face as he took in the destruction was beautiful to Light. It simply confirmed even more that he would do it again and again just to see the wonder in L's eyes. Leaning over toward L's ear, he whispered, “Seeing you covered in blood, straddling Matt’s body, was the biggest fucking turn on of my life. “

  
L shivered and closed his eyes. “I want to fuck you so bad right now but we sort of burned down our dorm.”

  
“Yeah…” Light sighed in disappointment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprised?


	18. A Freedom in Knowing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> smut, basically. Have a good weekend!

As luck would have it, the displaced students who weren't in the hospital or dead were placed in a rather nice local hotel. Some staff came along too, making sure the children behaved themselves. A hotel may feel like a vacation but it wasn't. The hotels event rooms were rented out daily so the kids had a place to go take their classes. Any classes that couldn't be taught at the hotel would be done virtually. 

  
L and Light loved the idea of being cooped up together in a large, spacious hotel room. They'd been able to upgrade to a room with a king bed by Light being overly charming with the receptionist. When they walked in and shut the door, they took in the spacious room, white sheets and pillows, and clean, modern bathroom. They finally looked at each other, both dirty and smelling of smoke. Light’s face and eyes were still discolored, the bruising finally starting to fade, the swelling down. They desperately needed a change of clothes and a shower. Apparently extra clothes were on their way, but it could be hours before it was delivered. 

  
Walking into the spacious white and silver themed bathroom, Light left a trail of clothing behind him, soiling the pristine floor. L grinned as he followed, his eyes locking on the dimples in Light's back just above his ass as he watched Light's slacks slide over his hips, boxers following. 

  
Neither said a thing as they stepped into the steaming shower, glass doors creating a perfect view of themselves in the wide mirror of the vanity before it. Light pulled L to him, kissing him hard, passionately, without restraint. L knew who he was, had probably always known. It was the single most freeing piece of knowledge Light had ever come to know. 

  
L relished in Light's passion, grinning into the kiss and ending it with a firm bite to Light's lower lip. Light hissed but smiled when their mouths parted. L ran his hands over Light's strong shoulders, admiring him in a new way. It felt like there was nothing he could do or say that would ever turn Light away from him. There wasn't a piece of him Light didn't love, and for all his brilliance, L felt as though he was only at the beginning of understanding.

  
Steam fogged the glass and thick droplets of water glistened on their skin and dripped from their hair. The dried blood on the bottom of L's feet transformed when it hit the water and swirled down the drain beneath them. They tangled their fingers in each other's hair and let the water wash away the lies they'd told each other as they kissed. It washed away the secrets and anything that had once stood between them. 

  
Finally, Light pulled back, “We should probably actually wash off. “

  
L turned and reached for the mini bottles of body wash and shampoo. It was lemongrass scented, which was refreshing and a fine replacement for the smell of smoke that had lingered on them earlier. Cheeky look on his face, L poured a little wash on his hands and began massaging Light's balls and shaft. Light gasped, spread his legs, locked his knees, and pressed his hands against the walls to steady himself. 

  
Slowly, L dropped to his knees and rinsed Light off. He was now at full attention and Light didn't want L to be done. Thankfully, his dark haired, heaven sent angel of a boyfriend wasn’t done with him just yet. L squeezed Light's balls as he engulfed Light's cock and began sucking it with fervor, snaking his free hand around Light's ass and worming one finger between his perfect cheeks. He pressed against Light's hole, teasing him lightly, knowing better than to think the water was enough lubrication to justify entry. 

  
Sliding his mouth off Light, L looked up and said, “I want to milk your prostate. “

  
“You want to what now?” Light had never heard of such a thing. 

  
L laughed a bit, then tongued Light's sensitive tip. “Just hand me the conditioner. I think that will work well enough for this. “

  
Light silently complied. L was the experienced one, after all. L gently massaged a glob of conditioner between Light’s cheeks as he placed his open mouth back over Light's cock but did not suck. Light watched on with lust blown wonder as he felt L's finger press inside him and search for his prostate. When he found it, Light jolted a bit, and came in L's mouth. L smiled at his victory, his mouth still wide open as he pressed Light's prostate again, milking him as Light watched L's mouth slowly fill with come. “Holy fuck, “ Light panted, eyes fixated on a drip of come sliding down L's chin.

  
When Light became flaccid and spent, L withdrew his finger and stood. Light wasn't sure what he was expecting L to do other than swallow or spit. He certainly wasn't expecting L to press their mouths together and shoot the come and saliva into Lights mouth as he kissed him forcefully, pushing him back against the cold shower tile. At first Light gagged and wanted to spit it out but the mixture smeared between them and spilled down both their jaws and necks as they kissed and swallowed, and Light found it insanely hot. 

  
Dropping to his knees, Light quickly got to work returning the favor. He didn't feel comfortable milking L, having less experience, but he felt pretty confident he could suck L off like a pro. L had been teaching him a lot about sex, and Light enjoyed learning and applying his new skills to L. There was nothing better than seeing L's face twist in pleasure as he screamed Light's name.

  
And that's exactly what L did as he came. He pulled on handfuls of Light’s wet hair until he was panting and exhausted. Light stood, and L was delighted when Light smashed their mouths together and pushed L's come into his own mouth, swallowing all he could as Light's tongue invaded his mouth and his body pressed against him. 

  
It took them a moment to realize the water wasn't warm anymore. They both giggled as Light cut off the water and L opened the door and reached for towels. He tossed one to Light as he towel dried his hair. With the towel still comically on his head, L placed his thumb to his lower lip and asked, “What now?”

  
“What do you mean?” Light asked as he tucked the towel in itself as it hung around his hips and stepped out of the shower. 

  
“Who's next? Matt said you were under investigation. “

  
Light nodded, thoughtful. “We might have to lay low for a while. Get through school and when we're older we'll go after everyone who ever hurt you. “

  
L couldn't contain the emotion welling within him and he flung his arms around Light. Never once did L believe he'd live to see a love like this. Many times he thought he'd die in a whore house, an unwanted, nameless orphan. That wouldn't be his fate, however. Not with Light by his side. 


	19. I'll Fuckin' Get You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light struggles under the weight of everything. L worries. Aizawa pursues Light and L.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short as fuck because I just really struggled with it 🤣. I just feel like the scene is complete and there's nothing else to say. 🤷♀️ So, fuck it. Hopefully it's enough even though it's short.

L stretched and yawned, the soft, warm covers a cozy compliment to the body laying quietly beside him. All that was left of his stab wound was a fading memory and a little scar. Light's angelic face had healed without a trace of the beating he took from Matt. L rolled over onto his stomach and snuggled up against Light. Just the feel of his skin could dispel any nightmare in L's head. The sound of his voice could ground him. His scent always brought him home. Light groaned tiredly and without opening his eyes or even fully waking he enveloped L, pressing his face into dark hair and falling deeper into sleep. 

  
Eventually L would slip from that sweet embrace to make coffee and start the day. The smell of breakfast cooking always summoned Light from the bed to the little island with its one bar stool where he sat and sipped his morning brew until he felt fully awake. Somehow L had begun getting exceptionally restful sleep. Ever since Matt’s stabbing L had no trouble sleeping. Light, however, had been feeling the weight of being class president, evading murder charges, and worrying over L. Depression didn't suit the persona of perfection Light was trying to maintain, but here it was, consuming him nonetheless. 

  
“I'm worried about you, “ L said as he clutched his warm mug with both hands. It took a lot to state that fear, to be verbally honest and vulnerable. Stabbing Matt was easier, if you asked him. 

  
Light raised tired eyes to L, his sluggish brain struggling to keep up. He didn't want to dismiss L's feelings. “I know. Do you want me to talk with the school counselor?”

  
“Do you think it would help?”

  
“Won't hurt, “ Light shrugged. A lot of the other students were in regular counseling, so why not him? It wouldn't seem weird. It was more strange that he didn't go. “Come with me?”

  
L nodded, small smile gracing his thin lips. As long as he didn't have to dig up his past it would be fine. Or admit to murder. L knew it wasn't right to finally realize that the monster in his dreams was him, but _damn_ did it feel good. 

  
***

  
Because of the fire, any evidence that may have existed against Light vanished along with their key witness. Matt had given them a story, but that's all it was. He had no proof and now he wasn't alive to testify to didly squat. 

  
Aizawa slammed his fist against his murder board in frustration. The vibrations rattled his old cup of coffee enough to spill it. “Great. “ With a loud sigh, he grabbed an old, used napkin and cleaned up the mess. His little apartment was trashed. He hadn't done much cleaning lately. Hell, he hadn't done much of anything besides obsess over this case and that's why his wife had kicked him out in the first place. 

  
Reaching for the open whiskey bottle, Aizawa poured himself another glass, spilling a bit on the table and cursing under his breath. He wiped it off with his hand and rubbed it on his pants. Swaying a bit as he turned back to his board, he pointed a finger at a picture of Light. Leaning forward, he tapped it and slurred, “I'll get you, you fucker. I'll fuckin' get you."


	20. Good News, Bad News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Watari finally addresses the issue of L being an orphan. Light can't catch a break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short but necessary chapter. I'm trying to tie up old loose ends before we party hard into the next chapter of the boys' lives

The Headmaster's office was located inside the original manor on WAM campus. It was large and comfortable, complete with tall shelving full of books and a fireplace. Cushy looking leather furniture made the office feel more like home, and L wondered if Watari did that by design. 

“Thank you for meeting with me, L" the old man said, his voice smooth and fatherly. Liver spotted hands folded atop the oak desk he sat behind. 

L nodded taking the empty seat before him, “Why am I here, sir?”

“I've been meaning to have a discussion with you about your status as an orphan. With everything going on, it has taken a while to get it all worked out. “

_ Oh no,  _ L panicked. “Am I getting kicked out of school?”

“Oh no, son. What I have to tell you is good news. I've been granted temporary custody of you. You'll be under the care of the school until you're eighteen.  Until then, your tuition, room and board, and books and study materials are all covered by the school.  If you remain at WAM and  continue having a perfect GPA, you'll qualify for a full scholarship for our collegiate programs.  I have been declared your guardian, so anything you need, I will provide. Please do not hesitate to come to me if you need new  clothing,  hygiene products , things like that.  I will be starting you on a weekly allowance so you have spending money as well to go out with friends. I want you to have a normal childhood  experience  from here on out , L.”  Watari had much more to say but the child in front of him had begun shaking and sobbing profusely. He stopped talking and stood, getting L a cup of water . 

Coming around the desk with the cup and kneeling beside L, Watari handed the trembling boy the cup. L turned in his chair to face Watari and accepted the water, trying not to spill it as he shook. Watari made sure not to touch L or seem threatening in any way. He was all too aware of L's past. He'd been informed of the lack of upbringing L had and the horrors he’d endured as a victim of what was essentially sex trafficking. The old man watched on quietly as L wiped his eyes on his sleeve and sniffled. In that moment, he looked so young. Most of the kids at WAM were quite mature and driven, and it was easy to forget they were still just children. As L wiped his nose and dried his eyes, Watari thought the young boy before him had never looked more like an innocent child since arriving at WAM. 

Clearing his throat,  Watari remained on one knee so he was eye level with L. “We’re family now, you and I, okay?  Family can be close or not so close. However close you want to be, that's what we'll be,  alright? You might feel like you don't need anything from me at all. You're very self sufficient. But just know I'm here for anything you might need.  Anything at all, no matter what it is. “

L surprised them both when he set the cup down on  Watari's desk and fell into the old man, wrapping his arms around  Watari's neck and letting out one long shuddering sigh. “Thank you,  sir.”

“Call me  Quillish .” Watari would let his feelings out later, in private, as he always did. This child broke his heart in so many ways, and he could only imagine how difficult it was to simply get through the day for L sometimes. Pulling away from the embrace, Watari grasped L’s shoulders and searched his youthful face. “We can talk about the rest of it later, if you want. Have you ever seen a doctor or dentist?”

“No sir,” L shook his head. Aside from the medical emergencies he’d experienced and treatments related to it, he’d never had any sort of proper care. It would be good to learn to take care of himself, to learn he mattered, had value, and was worth the investment of care.

Once the shock of such good news had worn off, L raced back to he and Light’s hotel room. Breathing heavy and face flushed, he swung the door open and shouted excitedly, “Light! You’ll never believe what’s happened!” 

Light appeared from the kitchen and smiled, but it wobbled and cracked and L could tell something was not right. “What’s got you so excited?”

L froze, the blue folder of information Watari had given him clenched between both hands and hovering at his chest. “It can wait. Something happened. What’s wrong?”

Light’s crumbling façade completely disintegrated, “I will never be able to lie to you, will I?”

L half smiled, “Nope,” stepping closer, he let the folder slide onto the counter as he placed his  hands on Light’s chest. “Talk to me. My news can wait.”

Light ran his fingers through L’s hair. Just being in his presence was a great comfort. “You know how I thought I had avoided my parents flying all the way out here after the whole fiasco with getting arrested?”

“...Yes,” L said cautiously.

“And how I was so certain they couldn’t afford to come out here and how we just shouldn’t worry about it?”

“Uh huh.”

“Well, they’re coming. They’ll be here tomorrow.”

L gulped. He’d heard a lot about Light’s family, and knew his father was a harsh man. Light didn’t need that right now. He’d only just started seeing the school therapist and had been advised to rest as much as possible and not add on any other stressors. L tried not to look worried, but he was. Finally, he let out the breath he’d been holding, ending it with a, “Fuck.”


	21. When Family is the Enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light is losing his mind from stress but L is a source of strength and comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of what Light is experiencing stems from my own childhood. It hits close to home for me, and I can't blame the guy for being nuts at this point.

This was a whole new side to Light that L had never seen and, frankly, hoped to never see again. He'd been irritable, short tempered, and neurotic since learning his parents were on their way. At one point Light had been so frantic he threw up. Part of L felt sorry for him, the other part was pissed. “You’re being an asshole to me, “ L finally said, eyes cutting to Light like daggers after Light had criticized the way he swept the floor.

  
Light stopped, shutting his mouth and dropping his pointing, accusatory finger. Frowning and sorry, Light sighed, “I'm not trying to be. I'm overwhelmed. I'm sorry. “

  
Setting the broom upright against the nearest wall, L slinked over to Light. Running long, smooth fingers over Light's face, L kissed him sweetly and smiled. “If there's one being a child sex slave taught me, it’s how to charm adults.”

  
Light visibly cringed as he closed his eyes and L backed away, confused. “What?” L asked. 

  
“First, don't call yourself that. Please. You are so much more than what they did to you. Second, my parents can't know I'm gay, L. My dad will kill me. “ Light opened his eyes reluctantly, tears filling them, threatening to spill. 

  
L felt like he’d been stabbed right in the chest and his heart crushed a million different ways. What Light said about who he was felt revolutionary. However, Homophobia was still a new concept for him. Back with Scarlett it was fine to have all kinds of sex with anyone. While there was inherent shame in all of it for L and a lack of ability to ever consent, he didn't know there were groups of people who hated people for not being completely straight. What really got his goat was the fact that some people seemed to really focus a lot of energy on homosexuality while turning a totally blind eye to real atrocities like the kind he went through. Why couldn't people hate child porn, sex trafficking, and rape as much as they hated people of the same sex in loving relationships? 

  
Gathering his thoughts away from those questions and back to the present, L finally spoke, “First, will he really kill you or just make you miserable? Second, you never told me they were homophobic. Third, I love you.”

  
Light took a deep breath, his body shaking. “I love you too,” he choked out, “He will send me away to a conversion therapy camp until I'm… _fixed_. “

  
“What? No, that can't be..” L thought nothing could shock him anymore. He was wrong. 

  
“I had an older cousin. She was sent there. She never came back. “ Light pressed trembling hands to his face as he broke down. 

  
L closed the space between them and wrapped his arms around Light. “That won't happen to you. I won't let it. “ Even as he spoke, L didn't know what the hell they were going to do. The whole school knew they were together. Hell, their first kiss had made the cover of the school paper! It would only take one kid unwittingly saying something to tip off Light's family. 

  
There was little they could do to prepare. They agreed to deny any claims they were together and simply explain that anything the other kids said were rumors. Without Light knowing, L had let Watari know how terrified Light was of having his parents, particularly his dad, visit. L didn't trust many people, but he hoped the old man didn't let him down. 

  
They finished cleaning their hotel room top to bottom even though it was already clean. Light organized their closet, and placed some pillows and a throw on the couch so it looked like one of them slept there. The place smelled faintly of bleach and the whole place damn well nearly sparkled. 

  
Satisfied with his efforts, L decided to shower, having gotten quite sweaty from cleaning. When he was finished, he stepped into their shared bedroom to find Light kneeling against the side of their bed, lost in prayer. It must’ve been the fifth time that day. L's heart broke for Light, and for the first time in his life, L knelt beside his boyfriend, clasped his hands together, and prayed alongside him. 

  
***

  
Watari became their hero the next day when he gracefully intercepted Light’s parents and gave them a very long tour of the campus. He raved about Light's achievements, how he was the best class president ever, had the highest scores next to L, and was truly the model student. 

  
“But is my son safe here?” Souichiro asked. He wasn't an ass about it. He was genuinely concerned. 

  
“Since the incident with the police and intruder, at have taken additional steps in our security. We've hired double the campus police, and are working hard to install every safety measure possible since the fire. “ Watari had gotten very good at putting concerned parents minds at ease since the disastrous fire that took out several dorms and killed or injured several students. Insurance paid out tens of thousands in damages to distraught families, and despite the horrors of it all, somehow Watari's good name and the school’s reputation remained intact. It was viewed by the public as a very sad and unfortunate accident. Though, accident or not, Watari did find he'd been hitting the whiskey a little harder lately. 

  
“Thank you very much for putting my mind at ease, as well as my wife's, “ Souichiro said with a polite bow. 

  
Sachiko smiled politely, but said very little. The petite woman looked exhausted, beat down. Watari wondered how difficult it was living under the thumb of such a man as her husband. It wasn't the first time a strict, overbearing father came to visit the campus. It seemed common enough that families with high expectations often produced children who tried to meet them of only to avoid the abuse that came with failure. Children like A never could escape. Children like A committed suicide, and that's why Watari hated father’s like Souichiro.

  
He couldn't stop the man from seeing his son, however much he wanted to. Souichiro would have to do something to get himself kicked off the property, and Watari knew he would never do that. It didn't prevent Watari from having a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach when he finally forced himself to leave the kids with the Yagami’s when they finally got to the hotel. 

  
“Why don't we all go out to dinner tonight, my treat?” Watari suggested, looking at Souichiro. “L is my foster son and he and Light have become good friends.”

  
“That's a wonderful idea. Thank you, “ Souichiro said and Sachiko nodded in agreement. 

  
“L, just text me when you all are ready to go eat,” Watari said, a silent promise between them to keep a close eye on Light. 

  
“I will. Thank you, Quillish,” L smiled sweetly. He was quickly becoming attached to the old man, and it didn't hurt that Watari had given him a brand new smart phone to boot.

  
Once Watari left, L observed a stark change in Light. He was almost unrecognizable, like some sort of robotic version of himself. He was stiff, bowing deeply for his father, never looking him in the eyes, having no inflection in his voice. He answered each question with a “yes sir" or “no sir" and apologized whenever he didn't have the answer or was unsure. The Light that L knew was so emotional, sometimes volatile, and now L understood why. Light wasn't allowed to have independent emotions or opinions from his father. He couldn't be too happy or too sad and heaven forbid Light ever show anger. That emotion was off limits entirely. L couldn't imagine living that way for 15 straight years. It made sense that Light was a neurotic, emotional basket case. _No wonder he kills people,_ L reasoned. 


	22. Bad News Comes in Spades

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light just keeps getting shit on.

_“Light, you're too skinny.” “Why aren't you eating enough?” “Are you sick?” “Is this school too stressful? Should we pull you out?”_ The words repeated in his head as Light vomited into the toilet. _Get it together, Light. You're better than this._ He stood and rinsed his mouth out, splashing water on his face as he leaned against the sink. 

  
A soft tap sounded against the door. “It’s me, “ L whispered. 

  
Light opened the door and plastered a fake smile on his face. “Please, just lie to me. “

  
“You look fantastic. Let's go to dinner, “ L said, sharp smirk on thin lips. 

  
Light chuckled half heartedly and followed L out to the main room where his parents waited. Without much more fuss, they filed out of the room and made their way to the lobby where a taxi waited outside in the rain for them. 

  
They met Watari at a rather nice restaurant. It seemed he was pulling out all the stops for the Yagami’s. The adults would split a bottle of red wine while the kids enjoyed a soda. The last time L had been anywhere nice, it was with Aiber. It felt a little strange to him to be out with Light and Light’s parents and his foster dad. L found that word so strange. He'd never had a dad before _. I wonder if Watari would ever want to be my real dad?_

  
Everybody ordered and drank and Watari even had Souichiro laughing at some stories. Light relaxed enough to eat most of his food and L felt relieved to see it. L desperately wanted to reach under the table to hold Light's hand, but he was terrified of Souichiro seeing it somehow. The lack of affection between them that day had L feeling neglected, and he couldn't wait to get back to their hotel room and kiss and cuddle. L figured Light probably wasn't up for more, and that was perfectly okay. He just wanted to feel those arms around him. 

  
The adults polished off two bottles of wine by the end of dinner. Everyone seemed at ease and Light was ever thankful to Watari for making sure the first day went smoothly. He wasn't sure about the other five days his parents planned to be there, but at least that first day went well. 

  
***

  
Light awoke to an empty bed and the most wonderful smell coming from the kitchen. Rubbing his eyes and yawning, Light shuffled his half dressed, half asleep self or to the kitchen. “What smells so delicious babe?”

  
L turned to him, wide eyed as he stood in front of the island. Sachiko stood behind it, smiling softly at her son as she finished frying a pan of vegetables. 

  
Light wanted to die. Crawl into a hole and just lay there until his soul left his body. Frozen, he was too afraid to look around to see where his father might possibly be sitting. He knew his mother heard him, but what about his father? 

  
Purposefully relaxed and soft in his body language, L approached Light and took his hand. “It’s okay, Light. She knows and your dad isn't here. “

  
Light looked at their joined hands, struggling to grasp all that L was saying. Thankfully, L was patient, quiet, calm. He didn't move, didn't lean in for his morning kiss. 

  
Looking back up to Sachiko, Light's mouth opened slightly, but no words came out. She smiled at him. “Light, it's okay, “ she said, her heart breaking over how terrified her son looked. This wasn’t okay. None of this was okay. Sachiko pushed it out of her mind. Her son needed her now and she wouldn't break down. She couldn't break down right now. “Come eat, Light. He's not here. You're safe from him. “

  
Light began to shake and burst into tears. How many years had he been holding this back? For how long had he hoped, wished, prayed his mother would protect him from his father? Finally, finally she saw how innocent he was, how helpless. Had she always seen him? Had she always known? 

  
Instinctively, L wrapped Light in a hug as Sachiko crossed the small kitchen to embrace both boys. She couldn't hold her own tears in any longer, and the three of them wept together for all the ways they couldn't save each other from all that had happened to them. 

  
Pulling away from the sweet embrace with great reluctance, Sachiko wiped her eyes and breathed deeply, “Come sit and eat breakfast. I have something to tell you. “

  
Light obeyed stiffly, his stomach knotted as he sat next to L at the little island, never letting go of his hand. Sachiko slid eggs and rice and veggies in front of the boys. Light hadn't physically salivated over a meal in what felt like ages. Cautiously he took a few bites before looking to his mother to speak.   
“After dinner last night, I decided I had had enough. Your headmaster, Watari, is helping me leave your father, Light. “

  
Light dropped his fork on his plate. The clang against the plate sounded louder than it should have been. “What?”

  
“There's more, honey. I have cancer, “ her voice quaked at the last word, and Sachiko lifted a balled fist to her chest as she tried to hold it together. “I can't go through treatment and remain under his thumb, Light. I just can't. “

  
“Oh, mom, “ Light stood and walked around the Island to his mom and hugged her. “Will You be okay?”

  
She stroked his shiny auburn hair and smiled at him, “Yes, Light. I'll be okay. “ She didn't actually know that. Hey cancer was already stage 4. But Light didn't look like he could handle anymore bad news. 

  
L had been quiet, watching the emotional transaction with curiosity, love, and maybe a bit of jealousy. Scarlett had been his only motherly figure but she wasn't a very good one. She tried, but she was the catalyst for much of his abuse. Sachiko may have been powerless to stop Souichiro, but she wasn't the cause. If anything, she may have prevented Souichiro from taking it further.

  
The three of them continued with breakfast and the boys helped clean the kitchen while Sachiko portioned out lunches and dinners for the next week and stacked them nearly in the fridge. She explained that Watari planned to hire her at the school and that she could live on campus and work whenever she felt well enough while going to treatment. Apparently Watari's wife had died of cancer many years ago, and he felt moved by Sachiko's predicament.

  
“Your dad is pretty awesome, “ Light said to L with a smile, finally starting to feel a bit better. 

  
L returned the smile as he placed a stack of clean plates in the cupboard, “He really is, isn't he?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is this seems anticlimactic, don't worry. It's just the calm before the storm.


	23. Team A and M

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aizawa and Matsuda join forces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can't let Light and L hog the spot light. 
> 
> Also never thought I'd say this, but low key shipping Aizawa and Matsuda in this. What do we say, fam? Give them some fun gay times together?

If smelling like stale booze and looking like a homeless train wreck didn't get Aizawa fired, his insane obsession with Light Yagami and L Lawliet certainly did. The other officers could hear yelling coming from the captain’s office. Several onlookers quieted their usual activities to listen in. 

  
“What part of, ‘you're off the case because you're too emotionally involved’ don't you understand?!” His captain’s calm demeanor had devolved into a screaming, spitting, red faced demon possessed tirade.

  
“I'm right about this and soon everyone will see that!” Aizawa screamed, pointing his finger in his captains face. 

  
“I don't care if you're right, Aizawa! You're fired!” The captain stood and leaned over his desk, “Your gun and badge, now!”

  
Aizawa pretty much threw his badge and sheathed firearm at his now former boss before storming out of the office. The captain was screaming something about professionalism but Aizawa didn't care. _Fuck him. Fuck 'em all._

  
When Aizawa came storming out, every eye averted. Some were relieved to see he had given his gun up. The man had always been a hot head and it was only a matter of time before he shot someone out of rage. 

  
Only Matsuda ran after the disgraced former detective. “Hey man! Wait up!”

  
“Just go back in, Matsuda,” Aizawa spat as he turned in the street to face the other, younger man. “Being associated with me will only bring you down. “

  
Matsuda frowned, the clouds above his head threatening to burst. He didn't want to leave his friend alone, but felt he had no choice. _Maybe when he calms down we can talk._ He watched in defeated silence as Aizawa climbed in a cab and disappeared into traffic. Thunder sounded in the distance, and it began raining.

  
Back in his apartment, Aizawa listened to the storm rage on outside as he plowed through all the liquor he had on hand. Eventually he'd pass out on the couch, vomit trickling down the side of it as the clouds parted and the moon lit the view. 

  
Matsuda still had a key to Aizawa's place long after he'd moved out and gotten his own flat. His break up from his long term girlfriend had wrecked him emotionally and left him homeless. Aizawa was there to pick up the pieces. He helped him get back on his feet. Despite his grumpy, overbearing nature Aizawa was a really good friend and Matsuda was determined to return the favor. 

  
Since Aizawa didn't answer his phone and Matsuda knew his drinking had gotten out of hand lately, he decided to take it upon himself to check on his friend. It crossed his mind to call Aizawa's ex wife, but he couldn't see that panning out well at all. Not only had Aizawa lost visitation with his children, but he had a stop order against him from contacting her incessantly. She would probably just be irritated and no help at all if he called. 

  
Unlocking the door and opening it slowly, Matsuda announced himself quietly as he entered. It became clear quite quickly that he'd not needed to be so cautious. “Good grief, man,“ Matsuda whispered to himself as he rolled his friend over and checked his breathing. _Well, he's alive, at least._

  
Matsuda cleaned off the couch, got Aizawa a pail to puke in, and began cleaning up the apartment. He threw open windows and sprayed air freshener. Bored with the silence and his friend’s snoring, he turned on the early morning news. Nothing out of the ordinary was reported. Just the weather, current events, traffic. The noise of the television was a nice distraction as he washed the dishes and took out the last of the trash. 

  
Aizawa stirred and woke around 8 am. He threw up in the pail and drank the water on his coffee table. Turning his still dizzy head, he saw Matsuda wrapped in a blanket, softly sleeping on his recliner. Aizawa laid his pounding head down and fell back asleep, thankful he had someone in his life who cared about him, even if it was his idiot former roommate. 

  
It would be noon before he woke again. Aizawa was trying to force himself to eat crackers with his aspirin as Matsuda grilled him about sobriety. “You need help, man. “ 

  
“Shut up, Matsuda,” Aizawa groaned, rubbing his face and sipping the water he’d been holding.

  
“No,” Matsuda said sternly but without anger, standing and grabbing his rain coat. “I'm the only friend you have right now. You don't get to tell me to shut up. When you're ready to stop ruining your life, give me a call. “

  
“Okay man, I'm sorry. You're right. “ Aizawa swallowed his pride and pleaded with Matsuda to stay. 

  
Stopping with one hand on the door, Matsuda glanced back at his friend, “If I help you with this investigation, will you go to rehab, or AA or something?”

  
“Yes, “ Aizawa didn't even hesitate. It was a good deal, and he'd be able to get information from Matsuda this way. “We will prove once and for all those pretentious brats were killing people.” Aizawa said with a slight smile as Matsuda took a seat on the couch next to him. “Little bastards from hell are going down.”


	24. Red Flags

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut chapter that ends in a Cliffy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have a great weekend everyone!

It was fun doing online homework while naked in bed. L was laying on his stomach, bare ass too tempting for Light to resist. Crawling across the white linens, he gave L a nip on one perfect globe. L jumped a bit and giggled. Surely, he’d created a sex monster out of Light. “This exam is timed,” L said as he turned over onto his back. 

  
Light kissed up L's smooth, perfect abdomen as he continued his prowl. “I'll make this quick.”

  
He would not make it quick. L could lie and blame a lost connection to get a retest. No questions would be asked. Right now he was too busy shivering under the soft touch of his lover to care. Closing his eyes, L let his hands fall upon the bed above his head. His trust in Light was strong enough that he didn't feel he needed to guard himself in any way. For the first time in his life, L was enjoying sex the way it was intended. He was relishing in the pleasure, focusing on the experience, giving and taking in love and want with a desire that couldn't be explained. He wasn't giving his body away in exchange for money. He was giving his body away because he wanted to, because he loved the one above him. Loved his warm breath, his gentle kisses, his loving words. 

  
Light kissed from L's lips back down his body, teasing perky nipples between his fingers as he marked his trail. L's groans only served to turn him on more, and his cock felt sensitive as it brushed back and forth against L's leg. Light's mouth eventually found that sinful cock, nestled in a small patch of dark hair as it strained for attention. Light ran his tongue from base to tip, his fingers massaging L's balls and teasing his swollen, abused hole.

  
“Liiiiight,” L groaned, clenching the sheets and pressing his face into one arm as he squirmed. “ _Please_. “

  
“Mmmmm, please what?” Light asked, his voice dripping with sex. 

  
“Fuck me, “ L gasped, his body aching as it nearly convulsed with need. 

  
“I love it when you beg. How do you want it?” Light asked as he folded L's thighs to his chest, exposing his beautiful ass, ripe for fucking. 

  
“Hard, “ he could barely get the word out. His fingers ached from holding onto the sheets and he was already a sweaty mess. 

  
“As you wish…” Light had found the well used tube of lube in the sheets and generously slicked himself up. The leftover on his hand was smeared against L's ass, who breathed in sharp with anticipation. 

  
Light had learned by now to start slow and build no matter how loose L was. Fast and hard would happen, he just needed to make sure L was relaxed first. Light reached between them and began stroking L as he rocked his hips forward, sinking fully inside L's body. He felt tight and hot and fucking amazing. 

  
L finally opened his eyes to watch Light work above him. His strong hands grasped L's thighs, pushing them down further as he thrust deeper inside L. L resumed stroking his own cock, loving the sight of Light straining, beating his hips against his ass.

  
Tears formed in L's eyes as the intensity grew well beyond his ability to withstand it. “Don't stop! Don't stop! Oh _God_ don't you fucking stop!” L screamed wildly as Light assaulted his prostate. 

  
The encouragement was well received, and Light began thrusting and pounding into L as fast as he could. The slick smacking of their bodies together as L screamed for more became like a chant to Light, egging his burning, exhausted body on to fuck faster and faster still. 

  
Sweat dripped down his burning body, and for a moment Light felt his legs go numb as his stomach coiled and his cock unleashed its fury inside L. His mouth gaped and Light wanted to cry out but he couldn't. All he could do was sputter to a stop as L also climaxed right after. 

  
Light collapsed promptly upon L, both boys breathing heavily as they laid in their mess. L ran his fingers through Light’s sweat soaked hair as his eyes roamed over the tan body atop him. No, L had never experienced sex quite like this before, and he could never get enough. 

  
After catching his breath a bit, Light pulled himself up L so he could reach his mouth to L's and kiss him sweetly in the afterglow. Somehow, for Light, this was the best part. Feeling spent and a mess and exhausted and so very in love. Holding on to the warm, perfect body beneath him and falling asleep to the sweet knowledge that he had the most perfect love in L could never be topped. Light knew he could lay like that forever. 

  
Forever wouldn't happen today, however, because the boys were interrupted in their sweet kisses by a knock at the door. Light rolled his eyes, kissed L again, and went to look for some clothes. L simply watched from his place on the bed, too cozy and sexed out to move. 

  
The voice carrying through the room was muffled by the closed bedroom door, but all too familiar. Anxiety churned in L's gut as he slid from the bed and pulled his crumpled jeans from the floor. A wrinkled white t shirt slid over his come stained belly and he cringed a bit. Opening the door slowly, L could see Souichiro and Light talking in the doorway of the hotel room. He couldn't quite catch what they were saying, but he had a terrible feeling in his gut. 

  
When Light invited his father in and turned back toward the bedroom, L leapt back from the door, overly alert. Light smiled his fake smile as he entered the bedroom. “Dad wants to take us to lunch, “ Light said. 

  
“Do you think that's a good idea?” L asked. 

  
Light shrugged, “Yeah, it’s fine. He just wants to talk about what's going on.”

  
Still feeling the red flags flailing within, L breathed deep and nodded slowly. “Do we have time to shower and change?”

  
Souichiro didn't seem to mind waiting while the boys showered and changed. He didn't say anything about them obviously being in the same bed or the smell of sex that filled the air. If he knew they were together, he didn't let on. If it bothered him, it wasn't apparent. He stayed quiet and waited for the boys to get ready.

  
When they left the room and made their way down to Souichiro's rental, L's feelings that lunch wouldn't go well intensified. It wasn't until he got in the car, shut the door, and heard the doors all lock that L truly realized he and Light had made a grave mistake. 


	25. In Danger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys are kidnapped by Souichiro

L would wake up feeling groggy, the unfamiliar room he found himself in a blur. His vision wouldn't focus, and when he vomited from dizziness, it leaked between the gag he didn't realize was in his mouth. Light was shaking, bound and gagged, crying as he leaned against a wall. Was this a dream? What was happening? He could see Souichiro's shadowy figure pacing as he spoke on the phone, but L couldn't understand what was being said. L's head lulled and he found he couldn't stay awake.

When he next woke, it was with a clearer, albeit still tired, mind. Watari stood before him, and L was more aware of his restraints now. He pulled against them, testing their strength, and found he was tightly bound. L breathed deep to prevent panic. Watari was there. Everything would be alright. Looking over to Light, he found his boyfriend face down on the cold concrete floor. Fear flashed through his body as he attempted to scoot toward Light. He used his legs and side to roll Light over and leaned against him to feel his breathing. He sighed, overwhelmed with emotion, to find that Light was still breathing. Looking up again, it took a moment for his vision to focus. Watari was following Souichiro toward them from the other side of the room. He was saying something, but L still couldn't understand.

He shook uncontrollably, terrified of Souichiro. L winced and laid across his lover protectively, bracing for whatever impact was to come. Instead, he heard an ear piercing gun shot, and he quickly looked up to find Watari lowering a pistol through a cloud of gun smoke as Souichiro collapsed to the ground with a hard thud. Blood spattered everywhere as the hole in the back of his head gushed. Wide eyed with terror and confusion, L looked up at Watari. The noise had awoken Light, but he was still dazed and unable to process the scene before him. L thought perhaps that was a good thing. Holstering his gun, Watari rushed to L and untied him. “Are you alright?”

“I suppose, “ L said as he pushed the bindings off of him and tried to stand. He wobbled, but managed.

Watari scooped up Light, “Let's go, “ he said as he walked out with the young boy collapsed in his arms.

L felt an overwhelming sense of relief as they approached Watari's car. He began crying quietly sniffling and rubbing his burning eyes as he climbed into the back seat. Watari placed Light in the other back seat so that he was laying with his head on L's lap. L stroked that soft auburn hair as his tears fell. Looking up at Watari, he caught the old man's eyes in the rear view. “What happened?”

“It would appear Mr. Yagami thought he could drug you and Light and gold you for ransom. He thought I would willingly hand over his wife in exchange for you, as though she were my captive.” Watari shook his head, “The man had lost his mind. “

 _Clearly_ , L thought as he looked back down at Light, who was sleeping soundly on his lap. “I love you so much, “ he whispered to Light, still tearful and emotional.

Watari's heart clenched as he watched L from the rear view mirror. He already viewed L as a son. Already loved him. It was hard watching L endure so much trauma, but he was determined to give his child a good life no matter what. He'd get the boy therapy, whatever he needed. L wasn't alone in the world anymore, and between Watari and Light, never would be again.

Once back on campus, both boys were checked out by the schools infirmary. They were given IV fluids for dehydration, but otherwise seemed fine. Light woke up with a mild head ache and intense need to pee, but with little recollection of what had happened. “Dad was taking us to lunch, “ Light said as he rubbed his forehead. “Did I dream that we were bound and gagged?” But even as he asked, Light could see where the rope had rubbed his wrists. “He's dead, isn't he?”

L nodded slowly, not sure how Light was going to react. He watched as Light sat on the hospital bed and stared at his sore wrists, trying to make sense of all that had happened. Light didn't say anything more, though. He didn't cry or seem upset. Instead, he let out a long sigh as he looked around the room. It would take a while for it to sink in, but already Light felt less fear and anxiety knowing his father was dead.

It wouldn't be until later that night when he and L were cuddled in bed together that he'd cry. L kissed his tear stained face a thumbed away the mess on Light's cheeks. “I'm not upset about him. I'm upset that he hurt you.”

“I'm okay, Light, “ L tried to reassure as his hands stroked Light's hair and his warm body pressed against Light's.

“But I promised,” Light drew in a broken breath, “I promised nobody would hurt you again. “

“You can't possibly keep that promise, Light. You are not in control of how others decide to treat me. You're only in control of how you treat me, okay?” L kissed Light tenderly before pulling him into a sweet hug. He'd hold Light all night long if he had to. Light's breathing calmed as L stroked his back. Their legs were entangled, bellies touching. They were warm and cozy and safe from harm beneath the covers of their bed. The monsters couldn't reach them here, and some monsters would never bother them again.


	26. A Brief Reprieve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys and Light's family gets a break from the trauma

Watari had friends in both high and low places. And quite potentially in every place in-between. The man need only make a phone call. Souichiro's body would not be recovered, and when questioned by police regarding his father's disappearance, Light had little more to offer than a shrug. It was assumed after feeling ashamed of his wife leaving him, Souichiro flew home to wallow in his self pity. The case was pretty much open and shut. 

  
Sayu would be flown to WAM as soon as possible to stay with her mother and continue her education in the prestigious school. Sachiko would sigh and rub her eyes when she saw her daughter’s nose ring.

“You’re too young to be going off piercing yourself, Sayu!”

  
“I'm thirteen! I'm old enough!” Sayu said with defiance. 

  
Sachiko was too tired to fight. Besides, it was a small diamond stud, nothing too obnoxious. And it really was quite cute. Sachiko sat in the chair in the lobby as they waited for Light and L to come down. The family was excited to be reunited, and Watari was planning to treat them all to dinner. 

  
When Light entered the hotel lobby, he couldn't help dropping L's hand to run and hug his sister. Even though he had minimal recollection of what had happened, he knew he and L had come close to death. “I like the nose ring, “ Light complimented softly. 

  
Sayu beamed and when L approached behind Light, she turned her attention to the stranger. “Hi there. Who are you?”

  
L suddenly felt quite shy. He hadn't expected Sayu to be so pretty. She was the female version of Light, only her hair was a touch darker. Light saved L from embarrassment when he stepped in and introduced her to his boyfriend. She seemed surprised but delighted, and L found himself wrapped up in one of Sayu's infamous hugs. 

  
After introductions, the family filed out of the hotel and into the car Watari sent for them. Dinner was to be the lighthearted break from all the trauma the boys so desperately needed. Despite their father dying so recently, Light found he could smile and laugh effortlessly. He wondered if he could smile and laugh this way _because_ his father was gone. 

  
Of course, neither Sachiko nor Sayu knew of Souichiro's passing. Neither seemed to care that the man just up and disappeared. Sachiko seemed to partake in that same lightheartedness that Light was feeling. For the first time in over fifteen years, the family was truly happy and able to be themselves freely. Light even kissed L on the cheek while they waited for desert. 

  
The whole evening was truly blissful. It ended with a lovely walk in cool, autumn air while the sun set. Light and L held hands, and Watari and Sachiko did too. It was sweet, the way he treated her, gave her the respect she deserved. They didn't have any romantic feelings for each other, but a strong friendship was quickly forming between them. Watari's wife had passed from cancer many years ago now, and he never had the desire to remarry. For him, Catherine was it, his one and only. 

  
They never could have children of their own, and their journey into foster care is what eventually led to the birth of WAM and Wammy's House. WH was run by Roger now, Watari's long time friend and business partner. He helped at the school as well, but he was more active with the orphanage.

Watari, Catherine, and Roger had dedicated their lives to helping children from all backgrounds. Watari often wondered what Catherine would think of it now, and hoped she'd be proud of him. 

  
The night ended with the boys getting dropped off at their hotel while Sachiko and Sayu were taken back to the main campus. Once alone in their room, L smiled sheepishly at Light, “You didn't tell me your sister was so cute.”

  
Light glared at L. _Oh no he didn't._ “You are not serious right now.”

  
L giggled, tracing a teasing finger across Light's chest. “What? She looks just like you. But with tits. It's a compliment.”

  
Light huffed and closed his eyes as he covered his face with his hand. “Can you never say the word tits in the same sentence where you're talking about my sister, please? Can that never happen again?”

  
L was still smiling, loving how red faced and flustered Light was. “I suppose I can,” he said as his fingers slid down to the top of Light's pants. While L's teasing was all in good fun, he did truly find Sayu quite attractive. He was testing the boundaries with Light, finding them tall and well defended. _That's really too bad,_ L thought, _she seems like she'd be a mind blowing fuck_. 

  
Light's mind had long left the topic, now focused on L's lithe fingers reaching into the front of his pants. His jaw hung slack as his hands fisted dark tufts of hair. The absolute sluggishness with which L proceeded was agonizing and delicious. Light could feel himself swelling up at just the promise of that sinful mouth on his cock. “Yes…L…” He groaned, hardly able to utter the words.

  
L laughed quietly to himself as he dropped to his knees and unfastened Light’s pants. For a moment, L just allowed it to hang there, painfully untouched as it strained for attention. Light became agitated, thrusting his hips toward L's face. L simply seated him away and laughed. “Slow down and enjoy this, Light,” L said as he began licking and kissing Light’s dick, sucking at the precome dripping from the tip.

  
“Ah, L, you’re so fucking good at this,” Light gasped, one hand against a wall to steady himself. He desperately wanted to tell L he was his dirty little cock slut, but couldn’t see dirty talk going over well at all. Especially since it was difficult to get L to believe he wasn't a slut. It had slowly been getting better. The longer L was away from that world, the better things seemed to get. L had gone from treating sex as transactional to becoming more connected and vulnerable. 

  
L popped off Light, sensing he was getting close to coming. Dark, tormented eyes peered up at Light. “Make love to me. “

  
Anything L wanted, Light would give. He could have his very soul. They tumbled to the floor of their hotel room, a mess of clothing in their wake. Light kissed down L's throat as he worked his way inside his lover. L wrapped his arms around Light, feeling like he couldn't spread his legs enough, couldn't get Light deep enough. 

  
They pressed sweaty foreheads together, and as Light panted harshly with each thrust, L studied those wild eyes. “I feel like you're my first. You're the only person I've ever had sex with that I loved. I think that makes you my first. “

  
Light smiled, kissing L passionately as he thrust in and out, aiming for L's prostate. “I think so too, “ he said, breathless. 


	27. Yup, I went there

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matsuda and Aizawa discover more than friendship with each other.

The boys would cool it with their killing spree and focus on their studies, graduating high school early. Aizawa would still obsess over the case, even as it went cold and his liver suffered. Matsuda would never give up on him though, and while he knew Aizawa drank while going to AA meetings, he was just glad his friend was going. 

  
He wrestled with heavy take out bags as he pushed Aizawa’s front door open with his back. “Dinner!” Matsuda called happily as he lifted the bags to show off his purchase. 

  
Aizawa was starving. A steady diet of whiskey wasn't doing for him today. “Thanks, man. “

  
Matsuda set his bags on the coffee table and removed the contents as Aizawa continued organizing papers in little piles on the floor. “Light's father is dead. I'm convinced of it. “

  
“What makes you say that?” Matsuda asked as he plopped on the couch and pulled out his chop sticks and udon noodles. 

  
“The man hasn't touched his bank account, phone, credit cards, nothing in months. He hasn't been seen or heard from. The wife sold the house after moving to WAM. Why would she do that if her husband was still living there?” Aizawa questioned as he pulled his own pork dish to his chest and began eating it furiously. 

  
“She filed for divorce and the house was in her name. I've seen bigger “fuck you's" but that's a pretty good one to me, “ Matsuda offered with a shrug. “It doesn't explain his disappearance.”

  
“No, it doesn't, “ Aizawa agreed as he looked from the floor to the board above him, where he had photos of suspects and victims alike. “I think that is man knows something, “ he said, pointing his chopsticks at Watari's picture. “I looked into him. He was a military bad ass. You know that fucker sniped around 50 people? Some of his missions are still classified, so there's more that we don't know about. He obviously has no problem killing people. “

  
“Damn, “ Matsuda said, silently admiring this Watari character. He'd met the old man a few times over the years whenever the police were called out to the campus. He was such a polite old man, really cared about the students. Matsuda never would've guessed he had such a violent history. 

  
“Damn is right. I looked into him too, of course. He's well connected in the underground,” Aizawa explained as he stirred rice into the remainder of his dish. 

  
“No shit? Huh, “ Matsuda was impressed. So the old man was a bit of a gangster. “So, you think he's protecting the kids? “

  
“He's gotta be, “ Aizawa said. “There's no way they could kill this many people on their own and get away clean without help.”

  
Matsuda nodded, cleaning up the trash from dinner and standing to toss it out. It all made sense to him, but the killings all stopped after Souichiro disappeared. Why? Matsuda lifted the full trash bag from the can and set it on the floor, tying the strings. He sighed, seeing a half empty bottle of cheap whiskey at the bottom of the can. He should've guessed that's where it was hidden. “Really, man?”

  
Aizawa looked over his shoulder to see Matsuda holding the bottle up, disappointment stretched across his face. Rage flashed through him and his face reddened. Aizawa stood, “That's none of your business!”

  
“Then why hide it?!” Matsuda yelled, unscrewing the cap and pouring it down the kitchen sink. 

  
“What do you think you're doing?!” Aizawa lunged for him, racing into the kitchen, trying to tackle the bottle from his friend’s grasp. The bottle went flying across the kitchen floor, booze spraying all over the walls, cabinets, and floor as Aizawa grabbed Matsuda by the shirt and slammed his back against the wall. 

  
Shocked, Matsuda froze, hands up in surrender. Their faces were mere inches apart, Aizawa all rage as he panted harshly, his breath sweet smelling from the dinner they just had. Matsuda wasn't sure what came over him or why, in that moment, he decided to act on feelings he'd otherwise successfully repressed until now. But he smashed their mouths together, closing his eyes and hoping beyond hope that Aizawa didn't beat his ass.

  
Shockingly enough, Aizawa didn't beat his ass. Aizawa didn't do anything. At first he froze, shocked by the abrupt move. Then he pushed forward, his tongue deciding if its own accord to venture between the teeth of his friend and search the warmth beyond. 

  
They both “mph'd" as Matsuda's head bumped into the wall. He smiled, breaking the kiss. Aizawa stared for a moment at his friend, feelings surfacing he didn't even know he'd been drowning out in alcohol. With a sudden rush of overwhelming desire coursing through him, Aizawa quickly removed his shirt. Matsuda followed suit. They both tore away their pants and underwear, the clothing a nuisance they couldn't remove fast enough. Aizawa slammed Matsuda against the wall again, their mouths crashing violently together as hands desperately groped firm skin, the heat between them mounting.

  
Matsuda reached between them, his hand wrapping around both cocks. His hips couldn’t help but thrust as his hand worked the cocks. Aizawa groaned into Matsuda's shoulder, turning his head to bite the skin at his neck. Matsuda whined, and Aizawa had never heard a sexier noise in his entire life.   
They both haphazardly thrusted their hips together as Matsuda jerked them off. Aizawa brought a hand up to Matsuda's throat, squeezing until the gurgles and choking sounds he made were almost too much. He released his grip and swallowed Matsuda's breath with a harsh, passionate kiss. Pressing his forehead into Matsuda's and panting, his eyes screwed shut, he whispered, “Don't stop. Don't stop, I'm coming. Ah! I'm- I'm-"

  
Matsuda watched, mouth agape, as Aizawa burst between them, his hot, sticky come gushing everywhere. The sight was so hot that Matsuda couldn't take it anymore, and he burst into his hand as well. His whole body went rigid, Aizawa holding him, still nipping at the bruised flesh on his neck as he came all over his own fist. 

  
Neither knew what to think, how to feel. They simply shivered as they held each other, sweaty messes overcome by deep desires they'd both been denying for years. Aizawa lifted his gaze to meet Matsuda’s and realized for the first time there was far more than friendship staring back at him. 


	28. Yes, Detective?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this with the sequence of events out of order and idk why. But there's a twist in here!

Matsuda would roll over and stretch his arm out toward empty sheets. Opening his eyes, he smacked dry lips together as he scanned the empty room. His brain slowly began booting up, and his sore body shifted until he was in a sitting position. Was that bacon he smelled? He hadn't smelled frying bacon in years. It was almost nauseating. 

  
Standing on unsteady, bruised legs, Matsuda leaned down and grabbed his briefs from off the bedroom floor. Yawning as he walked, Matsuda followed the smell of cooking breakfast into the kitchen, where he saw the most unusual sight. Aizawa was happily humming to himself as he cooked breakfast, smiling at Matsuda when he walked in. 

  
“Good morning. Coffee?” Aizawa asked as he plated pancakes and scrambled eggs, sliding it toward Matsuda as he sat at the bar. 

  
“Yes, please, “ Matsuda said, still trying to make sense of the scene before him. 

  
Aizawa poured a cup of coffee and walked it over to Matsuda, kissing his forehead sweetly as he set the mug on the granite counter top. Matsuda wrapped his arms around Aizawa and rested his head on the man's stomach. Was this real? Was this a dream? He hoped it wasn't a dream. Please don't be a dream. 

  
“Bacon?” Aizawa asked as he ruffled Matsuda's dark hair. 

  
Looking up at Aizawa, Matsuda blushed a bit. “No thanks. I, uh, don't eat meat. “

  
Aizawa didn't know that. “Oh. Oh crap. Do you eat eggs? I'm sorry. I can make you something else. “

  
“It’s fine,” Matsuda smiled as he let Aizawa out of his grasp. “Eggs are fine, though I don't eat them often. “

  
“Do you have other diet restrictions?” Aizawa asked, wanting to make sure he didn't screw up again. How could he not notice Matsuda never ate meat? As often as they enjoyed take out together, he really never noticed?

  
“Uh, I don't eat much dairy, but if it's in something I don't mind.”

  
“I can't believe I call myself a detective and never once noticed you didn't eat meat.”

  
Matsuda chuckled add he watched Aizawa walk back over to the fridge. “I think you've been a bit preoccupied. Besides, I don't bring attention to it. People often react poorly to it.”

  
Aizawa nodded as he pulled a melon from the fridge. “I can understand that. Fruit?”

  
Matsuda nodded. As he studied Aizawa, he noticed he looked less puffy, less red. He didn't seem as tired or grumpy. In fact, he seemed happy. “I would love fruit. What's got you in such a good mood?”

  
Aizawa smiled as he sliced the melon. “Well, a few things. For starters, I haven't had a drink in over a week. You make me happy. Waking up next to you every morning this week has made me really start to love life again. And I think I had a break through in the case.”

  
Matsuda blushed . He'd felt happier being with Aizawa as well. “Oh? What's the lucky break?”

  
“Souichiro's body was found.”

  
Matsuda gaped as he accepted the bowl of melon, sliced strawberries, and grapes. “That's incredible!”

  
“It certainly is, “ Aizawa said as he sat next to Matsuda. “Want to go with me to deliver the news to the family after we confirm it's the right body? ”

  
“Absolutely!”

  
***

  
Watari couldn't understand how disposing of Souichiro's body went so wrong. It was supposed to have been incinerated, all evidence destroyed, the crime scene scrubbed. What actually happened was the body was half charred, and the crime scene had been mostly wiped clean. By mostly, that meant there was still some evidence left like hair fibers from L and Light and a finger print from Souichiro. 

  
The reason the body wasn't burned all the way was because a sting operation stopped that from happening. When the agents stormed the building, they shut everything down and arrested everyone in sight. Naomi pulled out her cell phone and called an old friend. “You'll never believe what we found,” she said as she stared down at the burnt body her team was covering with a body bag. “Come down here. I think you'll want to see this in person. “

  
“Give me an hour,” Aizawa said as he hung up the phone. He was so thankful in that moment for the friends he still had on the force. He hummed happily as he made breakfast for him and Matsuda. What an amazing morning it was turning out to be. 

  
Watari, on the other hand, was struggling to not explode angrily at the next person he spoke to. Not only was Souichiro's body positively identified, but the construction on the burnt half of WAM was going sideways. Incompetent contractors had to be fired and replaced. The bill for the use of the hotel was not paid by his insurance and either he needed to pay out of pocket, or move the displaced students. Was it too early to drink whiskey? What was the saying? It's five o'clock somewhere, right? 

  
The old man say at his desk with a short glass and a tall pour, about to toss it back when his phone rang. “Yes? Yes, of course. Send them up. “

  
Apparently a detective wanted to speak with him. Watari downed his drink in a single gulp without even a wince against the burn in his throat. He stood and poured himself another, shouting, “Come in!” over his shoulder when he heard a knock His door. 

  
“Good morning, sir, “ Naomi said as she entered, “I'm afraid I have some bad news."

  
“Oh?”

  
“Yes, apparently the body of the father of one of your students was found this morning. I have some questions for you and two of your students.”

  
“Two of them?” Watari asked as he leaned against his bar and openly drank in front of the detective, effectively giving zero fucks at that point. 

  
“Yes sir. Their DNA was found at the crime scene. We have their profiles from previous cases involving them. “ Naomi stood in front of the door and watched the old man. Was this guy really some former military bad ass? “if you have a moment, I would like to ask you a few questions. “

  
“Go ahead.”

  
“It is my understanding you have a .45 caliber hand gun registered to you?”

  
“I do.”

  
“May I see it?”

  
“Of course,” Watari said as he walked over to his gun safe. Reaching for the dial, he noticed something bizarre. “Oh my,” he said as he pulled the door of the safe open. “It would appear I've been robbed, detective.”

  
“What?” Naomi joined Watari, facing the open safe. It was completely empty. 

  
“I'll have the security footage sent to you immediately. Would you be able to dust for prints? I had cash, several guns, and jewelry that had been passed down in my family for generations.” The old man's face was quite distraught. 

  
“Yes, of course, “ Naomi said. “Hopefully we can find whoever did this.”

  
“Thank you, “ Watari said, knowing full well he staged the entire thing and that they'd never catch the culprit. He knew how to play it safe, and that he needed it to look like his gun had been stolen in case things went sideways and they were able to identify the murder weapon used on Souichiro. 

  
***

  
Light and L were slightly less prepared than Watari when it came to answering Naomi's questions. L was inherently afraid of her and Light was pleased to see the friendly detective again. “Light, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your father was murdered.”

  
Light froze, unsure what to do. He knew his dad was dead, but how should he respond? “Oh,” didn’t seem like the right thing to say, but Naomi took it as him being in shock. 

  
“I'm afraid I have to ask you two some questions,” she said sympathetically. “When did you both last see Souichiro Yagami?”

  
L and Light looked at each other. Light shrugged, still wide eyed and appearing to process the news he just heard. L answered for them both. “He took us to lunch a few days ago.”

  
Naomi continued asking her questions, hoping that the restaurant they ate at had some kind of security footage she could use. The boys didn't seem to recall much from that day, just that they'd gone to lunch and came back home. Light had apparently not thought it odd that his dad never contacted him after. Apparently they didn't have the best relationship. 

  
She thanked the boys and headed to the place the three of them had lunch that day. She'd figure out what the hell was going on. Something told her that Watari and those boys were holding something back, but she didn't know what. Maybe the restaurant would give her a hint.


	29. Investigation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naomi continues her investigation. The boys make love. Basically a smut chapter.

Sometimes cases went unresolved. Sometimes there just wasn't enough evidence. That wasn't the case with Souichiro's death, however. Not only did the restaurant have footage, but it had great footage. It caught Souichiro stirring something into the boys drinks when they were in the restroom. Then it caught the kids acting drowsy, almost drunk a few minutes later. Souichiro piled them into his rental car and drove off with them, but he didn't drive toward the school or hotel. “Where are you going?” Naomi whispered to herself. It was all quite suspicious. According to the boys, they'd gone to lunch and came home. According to the footage, however, that wasn't the truth. 

  
Souichiro's phone records also show his last call was made to Watari. They apparently spoke for ten minutes. Naomi sighed. Of course the old man conveniently left that little detail out when she spoke to him. “Why are the three of you lying to me?” She shook her head and stood. It was time to confront them. 

  
This time she had the boys brought down to the station and made sure not to inform Watari until after. She didn't want him to have time to coach the boys on what to say. “Why don't you really tell me what happened at lunch that day?”

  
L looked down at the table and Light looked right at Naomi. “The truth is, ma’am, we don't know what happened. I don't want to believe my father was a bad man, but neither of us even remember going to lunch. We both woke up feeling sick and foggy headed in our school infirmary.” Light's eyes filled with tears, “I'm sorry we didn't tell you before. I just didn't want to believe my dad was a bad man.”

  
Naomi's heart sank. She believed Light when he said he didn't remember. It was time to talk to Watari. Hopefully he could explain himself. “I'll take you two home, “ she said as she stood. Somehow, it felt like she was going on circles.

  
“I do apologize, detective,” Watari said, “It slipped my mind when I became distracted by the theft of everything in my safe. He did call me. He had taken the boys and was frantic on the phone. I met with him, picked up the children, and promised him that we would never speak of this incident. I do not know what happened to him after that.”

  
“Where did you meet?”

  
“Parking garage off First street in the city. He was very apologetic. Said he felt like he was losing everything after his wife left him.”

  
It didn't place Watari at the crime scene, but Naomi found it funny that his missing gun was most likely the murder weapon and that he was also the last to see Souichiro alive.

“Thank you. I'll be in touch.” Naomi knew she'd been lied to because she now had even more questions and far less answers than before. 

  
***

  
“Do you think we're going to go to prison?” L asked worriedly. He'd been pacing their hotel room, rubbing his hands together as he thought back to all their crimes. 

  
“No,” Light said casually from where he lay across the sofa. “First of all, they're investigating my dad's murder, and we didn't kill him. We couldn't have. We were incapacitated.”

  
“That's true,” L considered Light's words as he walked over to him and crawled on top of him. Stuffing his face in Light's chest, he sighed heavily. In a muffled voice, he said, “And he's not connected to the other murders.”

  
“Nope. So we're in the clear,” Light said as he stroked L's hair.

  
L pushed his face from Light's chest and tilted his head up to kiss Light's chin. “You always make me feel so much better.”

  
“Good,” Light said as he looked down at L, his hand wandering from stroking dark hair to rubbing his back, to squeezing the round globes of a perfect ass.

  
L giggled, wiggling his butt and pulling himself up to kiss Light's lips. Light mmmm'd into the kiss, the taste of fresh strawberries still lingering on L's tongue. Mischievous smile spread across a devilishly handsome face, Light pressed his hips up against L, his hardness quite apparent. L continued assaulting Light’s mouth, getting lost to the sweet kisses and nips. He found himself entranced by the taste and the sounds, his own hands busy twining through chestnut locks.

  
“I love you, Light, “ L whispered, dark eyes searching wildly bright ones. He saw such love there, such desire. He didn't need to hear Light say it back, yet Light would say it anyway. 

  
“I love you too.”

  
L continued kissing Light, the friction of their skin causing red patches and swelling. He made his way down Light's neck and kissed across his collar bone. Damn clothing was in the way. Placing his lips in the crook of Light’s neck, he sucked and nipped until he was sure a perfect bruise would blossom there. 

  
Feeling quite heated, L lifted himself up slightly and crawled backwards until he was sitting on Light's knees, staring at the bulge in his pants. Quick fingers unleashed the tethered erection. L brought his fist around it, a little spit to help with the friction. He watched as Light's face twisted in absolute bliss as L jerked him off. 

  
“Put your mouth on it. Please, “ Light begged, breathless and ragged and a complete mess. 

  
Without hesitation, L lowered his mouth to the base, choking and gagging a bit. Light hissed as the vibrations intensified the sensation. If L kept this up, he'd be exploding in no time. “Yes, please. Yes, keep doing that.” Light didn't know what the hell he was even blabbering on about as L sucked the life right out of him. Nothing in the entire world compared to the way L could make him feel. The things L could do to him needed to be illegal, he swore. It was just too much and he grabbed L's hair harshly and cried out as he came. 

  
L swallowed it with no issue, popping off the softening cock and grinning like the cheeky bastard he was. Light was still dazed and panting, staring at him, trying to decide if he really wanted to say what he really wanted to say. “L, I… I want to try it. Being the bottom, I mean.”

  
L's eyes lit up. He was surprised but happy. It wasn't often that he got to top, but what experience he had with it, he enjoyed. “Are you sure? First time will hurt.”

  
Light gulped. “Yeah, I'm sure. I just feel like I need to try it a few times, see if it's something we like. “

  
L leaned over and kissed Light. “Okay. Let's move to the bed then.”

  
Once in the darkness of their room and divested of all their clothing, L had Light lay on his chest with his ass in the air. L went slow, massaging Light and relaxing him, coaching him on deep breathing as he rubbed his back and slowly stretched him out. If it took all night, it would be worth it if L gave Light a good first time. 

  
Light found he was enjoying the anal play a lot more than he thought he would. L rather expertly went back and forth between fingering him open, playing with his balls, and massaging his back. At one point Light thought he could fall asleep. Even when L inserted two fingers to stretch him even more it felt good. When L inserted three fingers is when things got a little uncomfortable for Light. 

  
“Go slow, go slow!” Light hissed, lifting his head and turning it to L a bit. 

  
“Sorry,” L whispered with a patronizing pat to Light's butt.

  
Light laughed and relaxed again as L added more lube and massaged his body until he was nothing but a puddle lying on the bed. L managed to reach his prostate and gently grazed it, getting Light’s attention. “That makes me feel like I'm going to come,” he said. L had done something similar with his fingers before, but it wasn't quite this intense because it was just one finger, not three. 

  
“Good,” L said as he massaged the area. Leaning forward on his knees, L lined Light's back with kisses. “You're almost ready. “

  
Rocking back into his knees, L removed his fingers and generously lubed up his cock. It had been neglected up until this point, just hanging there, nearly purple as it strained for friction. Slowly, he eased the tip inside of Light with the careful guidance of his hands. Light breathed deeply as L slowly inched his way deeper and deeper inside. Light's tight warmth made him want to come right then, but he breathed harshly through the desire to come and continued pressing his length inside of Light. 

  
“Mph,” Light mumbled into his pillow. The pain came and went in waves. Just when he was adjusted and comfortable, L moved again. 

  
“I'm in,” L nearly whispered. He shook from restraint. Oh, how he just wanted to fuck this tight ass.

  
“All the way?” Light panted, struggling. 

  
“Yup.”

  
“You can move. Just be slow.” Light breathed deep, his body shaking and sweaty. He could feel L's hands clamp down on his thighs as he began moving slowly, starting a shallow rhythm that waited for Light to relax again.

  
Light moaned as the pain gave way to intense pleasure. L increased his thrusts a little, sliding further in and out, watching himself impale Light's body with rapt fascination. “Do you want me to come inside you?” L asked as his pleasure mounted, the impending orgasm threatening to break free at any moment. 

  
“Yesssss,” Light hissed, backing his ass into L's hips in time with each thrust. Now that it no longer hurt, he felt free to move a little, though with caution. If felt like the wrong move could have serious consequences. 

  
L dug his fingers harshly into Light’s thighs as he increased his thrusts. The squished smacking sound of his hips against Light's ass combined with Light's groans and whimpers sent him easily over the edge. His coiling, burning belly erupted and L stuttered and stammered as he came to a screeching halt and filled his lovers body with his hot, sticky come. 

  
Light hadn't realized he'd come again until he collapsed on his belly after L withdrew. His body ached, and already he could tell his insides would be sore the next day. L climbed over Light's sweaty, spent body and kissed his back and shoulders. “God, you're an amazing fuck. I don't think I could ever get enough of you.” L breathed in the scent of Light's sweat tinged skin, the smell of sex mixing with his natural musk. It was intoxicating. 

  
“I love you,” Light mumbled into the pillow at he lazily reached toward L.

  
With a giggle, L allowed himself to fall into the bed next to Light. Light traced circles around the scar on his stomach with one finger. The look on Light's face was troubled. “I don't know what I’d do if I lost you.”

  
“Don't say such nonsense,” L said as he rolled into Light and pulled him into a hug. “I’m right here, where I've always been. Where I'll always be.”


	30. Naomi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naomi investigates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to pick back up despite being confused and foggy brained. This chapter is a bit short, but hopefully it makes sense. I've been struggling since my car accident and subsequent concussion.

Naomi pinched the bridge of her nose as she winced, trying to stave off the coming migraine. It would be no use. She sighed into the phone, “Yes, Ma’am. I understand. Uh huh. I am taking it very seriously. Of course. You’re right to feel that way. Uh huh...”

Wishing her desk drawer had a liter of whiskey in it instead of narcotics, she grabbed the pill bottle, popped it open, and swallowed a few tabs down with some water. Sitting up straight, she decided she’d had enough of the annoying bitch on the other end of the phone, “Listen, Miss- Wedy, was it? Yeah, okay. I’m doing all I can and I cannot continue my investigation until I get off the phone with you. As stated before, The case is closed and if you wish to pursue it further you’ll have to take it to civil court. I have to get back to work. Bye now.” She didn’t even wait for the screeching response she was sure was going to come. Naomi simply hung the phone up. “Christ alive,” she sighed, laying her pounding forehead against her oak work desk.

  
“Knock knock!” Came a friendly, familiar voice at her office door. Matsuda held out a coffee. “You looked like you could use this.”

  
Naomi smiled weakly and accepted the hot brew. “Thank you. How’s Aizawa doing?”

  
Matsuda shrugged and smiled sheepishly. “He’s doing okay. Going to meetings every night. He doesn’t slip up as much as before and he’s more honest with me now about his drinking. He doesn’t hide it any longer, so that’s a good sign I think.”

  
Naomi nodded as she watched Matsuda cross the room and take a seat in front of her. “That’s definitely something. Is he still obsessing over the boys?”

  
“Oh yeah. He’s convinced they’re connected to a string of murders.”

  
Naomi nodded, “Of course he thinks that.” She slumped in her chair, sipping the beverage she wished terribly was spiked. “Well, more power to him if he can prove it. I think it's a dead end myself.”

  
“I'm curious to see who's right,” Matsuda said casually. “Alright, I'll let you have some peace, I know that Wedy lady drives you bonkers.”

  
“Thanks,” Naomi said as she watched Matsuda kindly draw the blinds and softly close the door behind him. She knew he'd leave her to nurse her pain in the dark and tell everyone to leave her alone. He might be a fucking idiot, but he was a caring fucking idiot, and she couldn't knock him for that. 

  
The medication began kicking in and Naomi found she didn't give a single fuck about anything. It was so nice. She didn't give a fuck about her migraine, or Wedy, or crazy ass Aizawa targeting who were probably innocent, traumatized children. Standing, she gathered her jacket and headed for an early lunch. _Fuck it all_ , she thought. Fuck her job, fuck the investigation, fuck that lying ass old man Watari. Fuck her former fiance and his misogynistic beliefs and the fist fights they used to get into. Fuck. It. All. 

  
Naomi probably shouldn't have been driving under the influence of quite so much medication, but it wasn't the first time and certainly wouldn't be the last. Besides, she was a careful driver and even if she did wreck she could get out of any trouble. She had clout and respect and nobody would dare cross her. 

  
The drive through salad was lack luster at best, but as she munched she decided to drive to the place Watari claimed he and Souichiro had met. She wasn't as familiar with the area as she wanted to be, but something about his explanation didn't sit right with her. “Well, at least there's an actual fucking parking deck.”

It was time to interview people and see if there was any security footage. As it stood it seemed unlikely that Souichiro made it from the restaurant to the parking garage and then drove all the way to where his body was found between the time he left the restaurant and was supposedly killed. The timeline was tight if possible at all. “That lying ass old man,” she mumbled to herself as she walked the parking deck. It was well monitored, and she knew she'd caught him in a lie. The old man had messed up, but he was probably slick enough that even if she brought him in, she wouldn't get anywhere. All she had was an unreliable story, and people told unreliable stories all the time without meaning any malice. The human memory just wasn't reliable, and they both knew that. Without proof, Watari would get away with murder. “That's alright, old man. You'll mess up eventually and that's when I'll get you.”


	31. Sue Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Watari big mad. Boys fall apart. Naomi calls a truce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having a horrible time. Please love me with feedback as my life turns to shit outside of cyberspace

The boys held hands between the chairs they sat in as they stared at Watari. The old man thumbed through the stack of papers carefully, attentively. When he finally got to the end, he placed his hand on the folded stack and said, “Well boys, welcome to your first lawsuit.”

  
“Mr. Quillish,” Light said respectfully, “I'm being sued for wrongful death because I killed that Aiber guy.”

  
“Yes,” Watari acknowledged, seemingly unphased.

  
“Is this not outrageous? How can she do that?” Light asked, not even noticing that his grip on L’s hand had tightened. 

  
L was silent, frozen. This lawsuit was a disgusting reminder of the fact that there was no real justice in the world. There would be no revenge for victims like him. His voice would remain unheard, his pain unacknowledged. 

  
“This is how the adult world works, young Yagami. There is no action without consequence. No good deed goes unpunished.” Watari straightened up in his chair a bit. “I don't want to worry your mother with this, okay? I'll take care of it. Please don't worry. I will be filing a counter suit according to whatever my lawyers think is best. Rest assured, boys; this will go away.”

  
Both boys nodded but they still had knots in their stomachs. Especially Light, whose mother wasn't doing as well as they had hoped with treatment. He was already incredibly worried about her, but felt the need to put on a strong face for Sayu. In private, he fell apart. L did his best to comfort him, but he knew there was no blaming Light if he snapped under the stress. 

  
The boys braced against the biting wind as they made their way to the new dorms. They'd both joked that had they known how much nicer their new digs would be, they would've burned the old building down sooner. They weren't laughing anymore, however. As soon as the door closed behind them, Light fell to pieces. The hardwoods caught his knees with a thud and it was all Light could do to remain upright as the tears streamed. “Why, God? Why are you doing this?”

  
L wanted to interject. Wanted to tell Light there was no God and that life was just fucking shitty. Instead, he got on his knees next to Light, clasped his hands together, closed his eyes, and said, “God, I know we don't know each other all that well. I'm not even sure if I believe in you. But Light does. He always has. I love him, God, and I can't stand to see him like this. Please, if you have any mercy in you at all, spare him this pain.”

  
Light leaned on L and L ended his prayer by wrapping Light in his arms and kissing his forehead. School work could wait. The lawsuit could wait. As much as they both wanted Wedy to pay, revenge could wait. Nothing was more important in that moment than their love. 

  
***

  
It took quite a bit to anger the old man, but Watari was livid. Had Naomi not been breathing down his neck, he might've taken it upon himself to end the nuisance called Wedy permanently. As it stood, the best he could do was a court room battle to the proverbial death. Something, as a billionaire, he was quite familiar with. “Take her to the cleaners, “ he’d told his long time friend and lawyer, Teru Mikami. “I want to waste her time and money and cause her to regret ever filing.”

  
“Consider it done,” the sharp attorney had replied. 

  
Upon hanging up the phone, Naomi came knocking. “Sorry to bother you again. Can we talk for a moment?”

  
“Of course,” Watari smiled as he reached for his decanter. “Whiskey?”

  
Naomi shrugged. _Fuck it_. “Please.”

  
Watari wanted to be surprised, but judging by how drawn the detective looked she’d been having a harder week than him. “Ice?”

  
“I'll take it however you serve it.”

  
Neat it was, then. He handed her the glass and offered her the chair before his desk. She took it, sipping her drink before asking her first question. “You're a brilliant man, Quillish. I realize it does not escape you that you're my prime suspect in Mr. Yagami’s death. I think you also know that I don't have enough evidence to convict you yet. “

  
“Yet? Isn't it likely evidence will be harder to come by as time goes on?” He asked. 

  
“Yes and no.” She leaned forward in her chair and swirled her drink. “I like what you do for the kids. I'm not interested in ruining that. I have a job to do, but I wouldn't be mad if the case went cold. Just know that I'm not the only one looking into you and the boys. Just be careful.”

  
Watari nodded in thanks. So the beautiful detective Naomi Misora would be an ally after all. “I appreciate your candor, detective. Please, if there's anything I can ever do for you, don't hesitate to ask.”

  
Naomi nodded and finished off her drink before leaving. Something in her gut told her it was better to have the old man on her side than against her. Rarely were her instincts ever wrong.


	32. Christmas miracles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aizawa and Matsuda have a little naked bonding time 🤣. The boys get some good news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a fluff chapter but I feel like the boys needed it. Sorry updating is slow.

Aizawa kissed the back of the broad, freckled shoulder next to him in the bed. Had he known he could feel this fulfilled, he might have admitted the truth to himself sooner. Being with Matsuda was freeing. There was no other way to describe it. Ever since they became romantically involved, he felt as though he was getting a grip on his drinking. He didn't crave it anymore, didn't feel like he needed it. Instead, he turned to Matsuda, and Matsuda was always there. He was there with love and support and a kindness Aizawa had never been shown. 

  
Matsuda groaned in his sleep and shifted closer to Aizawa. The feel of Aizawa’s flaccid penis against the back of his thighs was a turn on that woke him up quickly. “Hey,” Matsuda greeted sleepily as he turned to face his lover. 

  
Aizawa met him with a sweet kiss, his hands sliding down Matsuda’s firm body until they claimed the beautiful ass beneath the covers. Now fully awake and aroused, Matsuda climbed over Aizawa, straddling him. Lowering his hips, he continued kissing Aizawa as he thrust their half hard cocks together. Slowly, methodically, he brought them both to full attention as their kisses grew heated and their hands roamed. 

  
Matsuda slid his tongue along the seam of Aizawa’s lips, begging entry. He granted it, gently sucking in that warm tongue, wishing it was something more, something bigger. It would be his moan that broke the kiss and sent Matsuda’s talented tongue down the rest of his body.

  
Matsuda playfully nipped the thin skin on Aizawa's neck, then kissed the bruise he left there as if in apology. His hands stroked freely through Aizawa's thick hair. The curly mane had become far more manageable since getting a new hair cut. 

  
It was so hot to hear Aizawa groan and feel him squirm. The noises only served to egg Matsuda on, thrusting his hips faster as he sought to bring his lover pleasure. He lifted his face a bit just to see Aizawa twisted in a mess of sweat and desire beneath him. There was nothing more beautiful to Matsuda. “Oh God, baby…” Matsuda whispered before he could stop himself. He hadn't really used pet names with Aizawa, wasn't sure how he'd react. 

  
“M-Matsu,” Aizawa gasped in return, eyes lust blown and face flushed. “I love you. I love you, Matsuda. I've loved you for so long.”

  
Well, he certainly wasn't expecting _that_. The confession nearly derailed him, his hips stuttering as his brain attempted to make sense of the moment. Unable to keep the emotion from cracking his voice, Matsuda kissed a Aizawa passionately, “I love you too.”

  
There was something breathtaking about that moment. Both men knew there’d never be another like it. “Don't stop,” Aizawa gasped, fingernails digging into Matsuda's back as he felt his orgasm smash through him. 

  
Matsuda wasn't far behind, but Aizawa pushed up on his chest. “I want to suck you off.” 

  
Without hesitation, Matsuda rolled back onto his butt, legs spread as Aizawa crawled forward. He placed one hand on the shaft and stroked and twisted upward as he mouthed the tip, licking and sucking it. 

  
“Oh God I'm close!” Matsuda panted, fingers tangled in Aizawa’s hair. 

  
Removing his hand, Aizawa surged down to the base, gagging a bit as he deep throated his partner. He then sucked as hard as he could as he pulled his head upward, one hand massaging the balls as the other held bucking hips in place. Matsuda became louder as Aizawa sucked until his jaw hurt, saliva coating the base and balls as his head bobbed. 

  
Finally, Matsuda exploded into the back of Aizawa's throat, who swallowed it down quickly. He loved sex with Matsuda and surprised himself with how much he liked a raging cock in his mouth, but Aizawa was not a fan of come. 

  
When he pulled off Matsuda, they were both panting hard. They looked at each other and Matsuda raised his hand to thumb away a dribble of come or saliva from Aizawa's bottom lip. “You look so sexy,” Matsuda whispered. 

  
“Shut up, idiot,” Aizawa laughed as he surged forward to kiss his lover again.

  
Matsuda wrapped his arms around Aizawa and fell with him back into the bed. They laid there, catching their breath and holding each other, staying warm against the frigid temperature of the room. It wouldn't take long for them to fall back asleep. It was Matsuda’s day off and he was going to spend it how he wanted. 

  
***

  
The holiday’s had never really meant much to L. His clients all fucked him the same on Christmas as they did Easter. It didn't seem to matter to them and it certainly never mattered to him. He had never received or given a gift on Christmas before, but apparently he was going to start.

  
Light seemed to be very invested in it. He decorated their dorm until it was almost nauseating. Red and green and gold wrapped gifts all sat perfectly beneath their little fake tree. Stockings hung by the TV. Candles and garland and fake snow all over. Mistletoe in the bedroom. Light stood back and admired his handiwork. Christmas was his favorite holiday, and he couldn't wait for L to see what he got him. 

  
The Christmas season had already brought with it one miracle. Sachiko Yagami had a clean bill of health. She was weak and all her hair had fallen out, but she was finished with treatment and cancer free. Light could not have been more overjoyed. He and Sayu planned a little surprise dinner for their mother, and so he invited his sister over to help cook dinner. 

  
He'd soon regret it, however, because all she did was flirt with L. “It’s too bad he's gay, isn't it?” Light spat.

  
“Uh, actually Light, I'm not gay,” L corrected, much to Light's chagrin. 

  
Sayu simply giggled and pressed her plump breasts toward L as much as her low cut shirt would allow. L couldn't help but stare, Light giving him the most evil glare he possessed. 

  
“Well, you're in a gay relationship,” Light said, trying to salvage his point. 

  
L simply shrugged and continued flirting with Sayu. Light quite angrily chopped vegetables and prepared the special dinner for his mom. He tried not to be too salty. The night wasn't about him and his jealousy, after all. It was about his mom being well again. With a deep breath, he continued making dinner as he waited for his mom to arrive at their little dorm. 

  
It would be a little cramped with all four of them, but Light hoped it would just feel extra cozy. When L realized he was getting on Light's nerves, he rounded the kitchen counter and placed a kiss to his cheek. “I love you,” he whispered, causing Light to melt. Of course L had been flirting with Sayu to get under his skin. It always made L giggle to see Light all riled up. Now that he'd pushed the limit, however, L backed down and reassured his lover. Light told himself he wouldn't fall for it again, but that was a lie. 

  
Sachiko arrived donning her new wig and a cute new outfit she'd bought for herself. She'd lost a fair amount of weight during treatment and needed something that fit right. “Mom, you look amazing!” Light complimented as he hugged her. 

  
“I agree,” L said with a polite bow. “You look very nice tonight.” 

  
Sayu hugged her mother and Sachiko pulled up on the front of her daughters shirt, giving her a look regarding her lack of cleavage covering. Sayu just swatted her away. 

  
They all took their places at the table and dove in to the delicious food Light prepared practically on his own. Sachiko complimented his cooking and he beamed under the praise. It was good to not be criticized. Now that Light thought about it, his mother had been nothing but positive toward him since his father died. It occurred to Light that his father must've been a huge influence on his mother, and he was glad the man was dead. 

  
The children presented Sachiko with a gift they all chipped in together to buy for her. It was a necklace with a little charm that looked like a book. The golden trinket opened to reveal a picture of each of her children inside. She loved it, and had Sayu put it on her. It was a very touching and heart felt gift she was sure to never forget.   
“I'm getting pretty tired, I suppose I should turn in for the night. Are you ready, Sayu?” Sachiko asked as she began gathering plates to bring into the tiny kitchen. 

  
“Mom, I'll do the dishes. You relax,” Light gently demanded as he ushered her away from the sink and began washing everything so his mother wasn't tempted. 

  
“You three are simply too good to me,” Sachiko said. “Alright boys, I love you both.”

  
Both L and Light hugged Sachiko and bid her goodnight. After she and Sayu left, L turned to Light, thumb pressed to his lower lip, “I feel like she's my mom too. Is that strange?”

  
Light laughed gently, smiling over his shoulder at L as he washed and dried dishes. “No. The reason I wanted the picture in her locket to be of both of us is because you're family, babe.”

  
The sweet words melted L’s heart. He almost considered helping with the dishes, but instead settled for giving Light a peck on the cheek and heading for bed. As he pulled back the sheets and slid into their cozy linens, L wondered if his prayer had really worked after all. Maybe there was a God? Sachiko had turned around soon after he and Light's desperate prayer that day everything in their life felt like it went to shit. L felt he'd be remiss if he didn't admit to the possibility of Devine intervention. Closing his eyes and clasping his hands together, L decided to pray again. “God? Thank you. At least, I think it was you that made Sachiko better. I'm still not sure, honestly. But for what it's worth, if you are real, thank you.”


	33. Laying Down The Law

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone celebrates Christmas. Watari has a talk with the boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why hello!!! Did ya miss me?! I needed a little mental health hiatus, but I'm back! I'm gonna focus on finishing these stories one by one so I can get to work on some new ideas I have. I also have stories from my old accounts that I want to edit and repost. I might add some new chapters to a few fan favorites😄.
> 
> Anyway, happy New Year to all of you! Here's to updating more frequently and consistently!

Christmas morning was spent excitedly opening gifts on their dorm floor with Sayu. Sachiko and Watari sat on their sofa sipping hot chocolate while Christmas songs played on the Google speaker. It snowed lightly outside their little window, but it was warm and cozy and full of love inside. 

Nervously, Light handed over a very small box for L to unwrap. Inside was a very thin, inexpensive silver ring. “It’s a promise,” Light said as he held L’s left hand, “That one day I'm going to make you mine.”

L’s eyes shined with love for Light. “But I'm already yours,” he said before kissing Light sweetly. He didn't need a ring to know he was going to be with Light forever. If he were being honest with himself, Light was probably screwed. If he did ever change his mind about L, L knew deep down he was fucked up enough to become Light's creepy, clingy stalker. It probably wouldn't end well in that case. 

Burying that truth, L admired his ring, eyes watering up. He told Light he felt silly now for buying him fancy cologne. It seemed fasr less personal now, but Light assured him he loved the gift. 

Light's mother smiled at the affectionate display. Sure, they were too young to really be thinking about marriage and chances were they wouldn't stay together in her opinion. She didn't want to take away from the moment, however, and if the boys were happy, that was all that mattered. They'd both had a difficult year and deserved a hopeful future.

Watari approached the couch Sachiko sat on and offered her a refill of her hot chocolate. She accepted, smiling brightly, “Thank you. For everything.”

“Of course. You're family now,” he winked, gesturing subtly to the scene unfolding by the tree where L and Light were practically saying their vows.

“Get a room!” Sayu shouted, playfully tired of her brother and his perfect boyfriend. She wanted a boyfriend. She wanted someone to gaze at her the way L gazed at her brother. Why didn't anybody feel that way about her? It was quite annoying.

“Oh Sayu, stop it,” Sachiko waved her daughter off and Light turned to stick his tongue out at his sister. Sachiko simply rolled her eyes. The situation was hopeless.

The rest of the day was spent eating candies and homemade baked goods. For just one day, they had no problems. There were no investigations and no lawsuits. No shitty people doing shitty things to defenseless children and getting away with it.

Christmas day was full of magic and love and afternoon naps. The family would wake up to snow outside and the children would have their first snowball fight. Other students would join them and for the very first time in their lives, L and Light felt like normal kids. They laughed, rosy cheeked and bundled up as they hid behind bushes and snow banks from the snow ball assault raining down upon them. Light would steal a chaste kiss from L before standing in all his pretend rage and glory, throwing snowballs at the other kids as he raced toward them. He would fake die an honorable death in the middle of the school courtyard.

That evening they enjoyed a glorious dinner of prime rib, courtesy of Watari. He opened the most expensive bottle of wine Sachiko couldn't pronounce and lavished them in his wealth. They were _his_ family now and they would be treated as such.

That night everyone slept soundly except Watari. He needed the boys to get their acts together and stop being so reckless. It pained him, but he knew what he had to do. L and Light needed protection, even if that meant protecting them from themselves or each other.

***

The boys knew they were in trouble when they were called to Watari's office the day after Christmas. Light thought maybe it had to do with the lawsuit, but L had a gut feeling it was something else. He stayed quiet about his instincts, however, as he walked hand in hand with Light into the familiar book cluttered office.

“Boys, sit,” Watari said with such unfamiliar authority that the boys both instinctively obeyed.

Light gulped, “Sir, is this about the lawsuit?”

“No,” Watari said as he took a seat in his large chair and faced the boys. “I wanted to speak to both of you privately. I would like to start by telling you a story.”

Both L and Light were confused. A story should be a fun thing to listen to. So, why were they both trembling?

“I wasn’t much older than you two when I joined the military. I was excited to serve my country. I was so naïve back then, romanticizing the truth.” Watari's face grew grim as he leaned forward in his chair. “Do you know what I felt the first time I shot a man?”

Both boys gulped, “No sir. What did you feel?” Light managed to ask as L squeezed his unsteady hand.

“Recoil,” Watari stated flatly.

The boys were old enough to understand everything the old man was saying without saying it. They were sitting before a cold blooded killer; a man of skill and discipline. Things they knew nothing about. Light found he admired Watari so much more than he had before while L burst into tears.

“I'm sorry!” L cried out, dropping Light’s hand and burying his face in both hands as he carried on.

Light just looked at him, dumbfounded by L’s response. Couldn't L see this was a good thing? Watari was everything Light wanted to be and he was the father Light always wanted to have. This ‘stern talk’ he was having with them was nothing compared to the punishments he faced under the harsh rule of his real dad.

Watari softened toward L, ”It’s alright, son,” he said as he passed L a tissue. “I'm glad to see you both take me seriously. I expect you two to behave yourselves as two law abiding citizens from here on out. Should you get the urge to hurt someone, tell me. I'm quite experienced in dealing with those feelings in a safe way.”

Both Light and L nodded. L took a deep, shaky breath, feeling a bit better. Watari really did love him. “What will happen if we wind up hurting someone again?”

“Several things. First, you will be shipped off to a strict military school that you will not enjoy. Second, you will be cut off from my financial help as soon as you turn 18. I will not aid and abed a criminal. Do you two understand me?”

Both boys said a simultaneous “Yes sir.”

“Good. Now, enjoy the rest of your winter break. Your graduation ceremony is this Summer. Enjoy this time. Enjoy your accomplishments. You two are the youngest graduating students WAM has ever had. You're also both tied for highest academic achievement. Please, don't mess up your wonderfully bright futures by making emotionally immature decisions in a moment of rage or fear. Start signing up for college classes and focus on that, please.”

Both L and Light nodded, serious faced and ready to change their lives. Watari stood and rounded the desk, hugging both boys before releasing them. _They'll be the death of me yet,_ he thought as he watched them go. They didn't have to plot his murder; he was going to die from stress long before they ever got the chance to kill him. He chuckled to himself as he reached for his whiskey. Never in a million years did he think he'd meet his demise at the hands of two children. After all the people he killed, many of them skilled assassins themselves, he found it humorous and ironic that the stress of being a father to the two most psychotic boys he’d ever met would be what did him in. It was almost poetic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've said this already on another story so if you've read my little love letter to all my readers, feel free to skip this. 
> 
> I want you guys to know that this is all for you. I know it's popular among authors to say they write for themselves at the end of the day. But that isn't good enough for me. My life feels so much more fulfilled when I'm doing more than just making myself happy. I get the sweetest sense of joy when I get an excited comment or a kudos or a bookmark. I know that I'm a part of your escapism. I'm a part of helping you build a world inside your head to go to when the outside world becomes too much to bear. That, to me, is a great honor. 
> 
> So, thank you. Thank you for the honor of letting me in your head🤣. Seriously though, all of this would be pointless without you. Know your worth as a reader, because it's monumental.


	34. I Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matsuda surprises Aizawa. The boys get news about the lawsuit. Light makes a decision. There's a little time skip in here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentines Day!! This is my anniversary for the very first account I ever made on ao3 two years ago! It's been such an amazing and often heart breaking journey but I love it. And I love all of you. Here's to many more years!

If ever there was an occasion to celebrate, this was it. Aizawa had been sober for a year, and Matsuda had the perfect way to celebrate. “Can I see that one, please?” Matsuda asked as he pointed toward the glass case he hovered over.

The rather pompous man behind the counter nodded and reached inside, pulling out the shiny black ring Matsuda had pointed to. It was light weight and stunning, with silver on the inside and black onyx on the outside. _It's perfect,_ Matsuda thought, a small grin making its way across his happy face. “I'll take it.”

“Very well, sir.”

There was a certain bounce to his step now, almost like he was dancing to his very own music. Matsuda stopped by the grocery store on his way home to pick up a few of Aizawa's favorite things. The grumpy hothead would be in his office all day, Matsuda knew. Ever since Aizawa launched his own PI business, the man had been busier than ever. It made Matsuda happy to see him obsessing less about the boys and paying more attention to his work and their future together.

When he got home, he got to work setting the stage for a romantic night in with his lover. Tonight would be about them, complete with candles and roses and Aizawa's favorite European chocolates. The apartment was filled with the savory scent of roasted garlic and other spices as he sautéed a pan of vegetables.

Aizawa was a creature of habit, walking through the door at half past six, just as Matsuda was through plating the food. “Welcome home!” Matsuda greeted cheerfully.

“What's all this?” It was rare that Aizawa genuinely smiled, but he was smiling now. He dropped his brief case by the door and took off his coat, hanging on the hooks before him on the wall. He turned around and walked into the kitchen, intercepting Matsuda as he carried the food to the table.

“We’re celebrating. Come sit,” Matsuda said as he planted a quick kiss to his lovers lips.

Aizawa followed him expectantly. The whole apartment smelled delicious and he was nearly _starving._ Not to mention all the candles lit about the apartment created quite the romantic ambiance. “What are we celebrating?” Aizawa asked as he took his place at their dinner table.

“Us,” Matsuda said as he sat, “We've been together a year now. You've been sober just as long. I'm proud of you. I'm proud to be with you. I wanted to show you that.”

Aizawa took the hand Matsuda stretched across the table and gently squeezed it. “I love you,” he said, eyes full of adoration for the man who changed his life. He knew he would be dead by now if it weren't for his best friend. There wasn't a single secret between them, and Aizawa couldn't help but feel in some ways he didn't deserve such a perfect love.

“I love you too. Now eat,” Matsuda said, withdrawing his hand so he could gather his eating utensils and sip his glass of water. It surprised him that he wasn't nervous at all about what was to come. He felt calm and at peace. Everything felt so right to him. He didn't worry about Aizawa saying no, because even if he did, Matsuda would just ask again. He'd ask him everyday for the rest of their lives if he had to.

After dinner, Matsuda cleared their plates and brought the box of fancy chocolates to the table where he made Aizawa sit and wait. “You really do know the way to a man's heart,” Aizawa joked as he accepted the box.

“I'm not done yet,” Matsuda said as he knelt by the chair his lover sat in. He held the little grey box up as he stared at Aizawa’s shocked face. Matsuda opened the little box to reveal a stunning black ring nestled in a white pillow. “Marry me, Aizawa. Say you will.”

Aizawa was stunned into silence for a moment. He had been married once before, but that relationship was nothing like this one. It was never as loving, never as pure and as honest. The thought to do it all again had not yet crossed his mind. But this wasn't about just him anymore. Matsuda had never been married before. He didn't know what it was like to have that commitment, or to experience the joy of starting a family and building a future together.

Turning in his chair as he set the unopened box of chocolates on the table, Aizawa leaned down and closed both hands around the ring box and the hand that was holding it. Reaching forward as much as possible, his lips met Matsuda's for a sweet kiss. When their lips parted, Aizawa felt consumed by his emotions, and his voice broke as he answered, “Yes, of course I will.”

Matsuda burst into tears of joy and Aizawa rolled his eyes. “You're such an idiot,” Aizawa joked, to which Matsuda laughed through his tears.

“Make love to me,” Matsuda whispered onto pouted lips.

Aizawa could not refuse. He slowly launched out of his chair and toppled Matsuda to the floor. He'd made no specifications about _where_ he wanted to make love, so Aizawa was determined to take him right then and there. Their fingers laced as Aizawa raised their hands above their heads, the closed ring box cast aside for now.

***

Watari didn't make a habit of underestimating his opponents. This had served him well and even kept him alive through some very precarious situations. He wasn't above throwing money at something until it disappeared, either. He had planned on straining Wedy's resources by dragging the lawsuit out and spending all her money until she was out of funds. Over a year into the suit, she still wasn't backing down. _The sex trafficking business must be lucrative,_ Watari thought as he poured a glass of bourbon. At least the boys were doing well.

Ever since his stern talk with them, they'd put their noses to the proverbial grind stone and got serious about their futures. They weren't just obeying the law, but they were volunteering their time, joining school clubs, and giving back. Watari was incredibly proud of them both. It was his hope that despite their traumatic pasts and proclivity for violence that they'd continue on this path.

A knock on his office door told him the boys had arrived. “Come in,” he said as he sat at his desk.

Every day they looked a little older, seemed a little more mature. They were growing into five young men, he thought to himself. The boys took their usual seats before him, knowing this was an update regarding the wrongful death lawsuit against Light.

“Hi, Sir. What's going on with the lawsuit?” Light asked nervously. The suit was something that felt like it loomed over him, and he couldn't wait for it to be over. Even though he hadn’t had to deal with anything directly yet, he was dreading the day he had to. It drained him, and with the stress of college taking its toll, Light felt exhausted all the time from stress.

“You'll have to do a video deposition,” Watari said, “Wedy will be there with her lawyers, and you'll be there with yours, and they'll ask you questions about what happened.”

Light's eyes widened in fear, “Sir, I really don't want to do that.”

“I'm afraid you've got no choice. L, you've been named in the suit I'm afraid.” Watari was sympathetic as he looked at his son. “They want an affidavit from you and will possibly depose you too.”

“There's nothing we can do?” L asked, visibly upset by this news. Aiber was a monster. He wanted to leave that monster in the past.

“Just do what's asked of you without resistance,” Watari said.

Both boys looked down and gave an audible, “Yessir.”

It was one thing to have a lawsuit against himself, but for his boyfriend to be involved? That was surpassing his limit of tolerable bullshit. Light squeezed L’s hand reassuringly. He would do everything in his power to make sure L didn't have to relive his nightmare. In that moment, Light made up his mind. Wedy had to die.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, this is a safe place to comment! I love each and every one of you and I know some readers have been turned off by rude or entitled writers. I love encouraging, positive feedback. You readers are my life force! :D


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